The Power of Silence, the Importance of Retreat April 11, 2018 20:22
I spent my Spring Break in the high desert of Colorado in silent retreat with one hundred other meditation practitioners from all over the world. We gathered at Blazing Mountain Retreat Center in Crestone, CO, for a seven-day bodhicitta retreat hosted by Caroline Pfohl, lineage holder at Dharma Ocean.
We sat in silent meditation and teachings for nearly seven hours each day. We ate all of our meals in silence. We wandered the rocky landscape and trails in silence. We were gadget-free and unbound by Facebook, the internet, and the conveniences and distractions of the outside world. Instead, we immersed ourselves in a collective, silent series of practices.
I’ve spent most of my life in Indiana, so visiting a mountainous landscape was a new adventure for me. I loved being surrounded by mountains and gnarly, windswept piñon pines and juniper trees. This terrain spoke to me….loudly, and it supported my practice by offering encouragement, strength, and crystal-clear guidance. This place and this retreat cracked my heart wide open. It allowed me to release what I should have surrendered a long time ago, and it also allowed me to connect with myself, with others, and with the environment on a deep and meaningful level.
So, I was quiet for a week around a bunch of strangers. How could this possibly enhance my personal japa, meditation, and movement practices?
Deeper Sense of Connection (and Interconnection)
I’m an introvert and more of a listener than a talker, so making the adjustment to silence was not terribly challenging for me. However, the silence helped me pay much closer attention to the nature of the incessant internal dialogue going on in my head—the judgments and criticisms (self-directed, mostly), the worries and fears, and even the minor physical twinges and aches that would rise to the surface during seated meditations. I realized that I don’t listen to myself as much as I could, and that I would save myself a lot of unnecessary trouble if I paid more attention to my own thought patterns and habits—to simply observe them without judgment, and to see where they lead, or when they dissipate.
Even though we weren’t talking during this retreat, as a group, we were communicating non-verbally, through eye contact, averted gazes, smiles, body language, especially the heart bow, a signature gesture with this lineage. We weren’t speaking with words, but we were communicating energetically, and we were forming bonds with others through this unspoken language.
For me, the most significant side effect of silence was how it deepened my connection to the environment around me. The main shrine room had large windows with an amazing, panoramic view of the mountains and surrounding valley. I was keenly aware of light and shadow, wind and stillness, birdsong, the crunching of shoes on rocky gravel. The weather conditions are always changing in Crestone. One morning would bring snow or fog, but the afternoon would be sunny or cool and windy. Sunrises and sunsets over mountain ranges were stunning events with ever-shifting colors and cloud formations, stars were more clear and prominent (away from city lights), and the moon! I’d watch for her in the early morning and late evening—she led me safely along the winding path from the residence hall to the main shrine hall. I didn’t encounter any bears or mountain lions, but I did see plenty of mule deer, and I caught a glimpse of a coyote one morning, and heard them yipping in the distance in the evenings. Silence encouraged me not only to observe my surroundings, but also to recognize that I was an active, interconnected participant. It has also heightened my awareness of my surroundings now that I am home. The deciduous maples and oaks aren’t as domineering and loud as the piñons and junipers, but their whispers are catching my attention more than ever.
Heightened Sense of Service
Everything seemed like an offering at Blazing Mountain. The ikebana arrangements on the altars in the shrine rooms, in lobbies, even on the banister ledge of the stairway leading to the dining hall were exquisite and carefully designed.
The food was superb! Every meal included fresh, organic produce, vegan and vegetarian options, satisfying and nutritious choices. The kitchen staff honored all dietary preferences and restrictions. They even had a leftover fridge and access to hot tea and coffee throughout the day. Every meal...every cup of tea...was an offering.
All retreat participants were required to practice ROTA, rotating work assignments, during the course of the week. Whether it was cleaning a residence hall bathroom, sweeping floors, washing dishes, or helping with meal preparations, all of us had an opportunity to give back through mindful effort and service.
I appreciated the attention to detail at Blazing Mountain, especially the mindful attentiveness and kindness expressed through these details. This has had an impact on my personal practices as well. I’m more attentive to each bead and recitation with japa practice—each recitation is an offering, just as each moment in seated meditation is an offering—each breath, each movement is an offering in asana practice. Attention to details has its benefits. I’m enjoying my personal practices even more, and I’m finding that I’m less distracted by interruptions and discursive thoughts, which is always welcome.
Awareness of Guidance (Pointing-out Instructions)
One of the most powerful benefits that I gained from this retreat is the reminder that I have access to guidance from the seen and unseen worlds whenever I need it. All I have to do is practice with integrity and sincerity on a regular basis.
I experienced vivid night dreams and images during meditations throughout my stay in Crestone. Many of these images were of elders--ancient, ancient teachers who were encouraging me to continue on this path--smiling, nodding, blowing kisses at me with wrinkled, weathered hands, and then transforming into mountains.
Some guidance came as messengers from the natural world. My favorite was a tiny black spider headed toward giant potted geraniums near the window in the main shrine room. I love spiders--they are nature's little architects. Ever since I heard my first Grandmother Spider story (in some Native American tribes, she's referred to as Thinking Woman), spiders have become powerful symbols of creativity, transformation, and manifestation. They, too, are powerful teachers.
Right before an early morning meditation, I was arranging my cushion, preparing to settle in for practice, and I noticed this spider walking across the floor. She's on a mission--she's on the move--she's headed for the giant geraniums, and then right in front of my mat, she pauses--she stops and waits. It was as if she wanted me to see her. She wanted me to know she was there as a reminder--that this retreat--this practice is an important vehicle for my own creativity, transformation, and manifestation.
I had an amazing stay at Blazing Mountain Retreat Center. I know that all of my meditation sessions won't be this dramatic and powerful. Many will be quite boring--just sitting--and breathing. However, these experiences in Crestone have motivated me to continue to practice every day--whether on the cushion--with a mala--on a yoga mat--wherever I may be. All I have to do is find stillness, be silent, and practice with integrity and sincerity on a regular basis. If I can do this, my path will continue to unfold.