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Compassion Is the Antidote: Integrating Joy, Justice, and Humor into Practice January 31, 2025 22:12
If you prefer to listen to this month's blog offering, please click HERE for the audio link.
In some ways, the month of January has slowly dragged on as if we were pulling a heavy weight uphill. At the same time, it seems to have streaked by like a flash of light. I don’t know about you, but I am exhausted! We have certainly witnessed and endured a great deal this month, from political chaos to environmental disasters to personal tragedies…the suffering has been overwhelming this month.
WISDOM:
It’s certainly easy to get bogged down with all the bad news. Personally, I have found a bit of relief in the wisdom of others. I recently listened to an interview on Kelly Corrigan’s podcast, Kelly Corrigan Wonders, with the writer Kendra Adachi. They were discussing Adachi’s book, The Plan: Manage Your Time Like a Lazy Genius.
This book, which I was able to check out from my local library, is a delightful read that is packed with helpful tips and nuggets of wisdom. This book is not just about time management; it’s about how to live a meaningful, integrated life.
Adachi’s advice is clear and practical, and I love her humorous footnotes as well. One of the biggest messages that resonated with me was, “The goal is not greatness. The goal is integration.”
Living a wholehearted life as opposed to accomplishing an endless list of tasks sounds great to me! The major tenets of living an integrated life include accepting ourselves as is, taking care of ourselves, embracing our lives as works-in-progress, and tending to our daily responsibilities with patience and compassion.
Instead of feeling fragmented and scattered with everything that we’d like and need to do, being grounded, steady, and calm are essential for cultivating an integrated life. Integration is the key to bringing all of those scattered parts together, along with compassion, kindness, and care.
Adachi’s book has been a welcome life raft for me this month, (and Kelly Corrigan’s podcast is amazing, too). While reading her book, one of her footnotes captured my attention and led me to check out another book from the library: The Enneagram for Black Liberation: Return to Who You are beneath the Armor You Carry by Chichi Agorom.
I don’t know very much about the enneagram system, but this book is certainly much more than a catalogue of personality types. Agorom’s book is well-written and engaging. I’ve just started diving in, but this quote captured my attention right away:
“Wellness is a state of balance that comes from having our personal, relational, and collective needs met. Because wellness includes the PERSONAL, RELATIONAL, and COLLECTIVE, there can be no wellness without justice. If the systems that govern our communities are structured in a way that ignores or exacerbates our needs, we cannot be truly well.”
If you, too, are feeling a bit overwhelmed, finding solace and inspiration in the wisdom of others may be of help. Follow what fascinates you—investigate what makes you curious.
COMPASSION:
Another antidote is compassion. Compassion takes this notion of integration to the next level.
The good news is, compassion is something we can all cultivate on a personal level—which means we are in charge of our own capacity to be kind and caring to ourselves and to others.
Recently, I had a conversation with one of the students I tutor on a weekly basis. I’ll refer to him as Phillip (not his actual name). Phillip is a very sensitive student; he’s prone to anxiety, and he can be extremely self-critical. Plagued with self doubt, he often sabotages his own learning and success by putting himself down.
Phillip has been working on a speech for his English class for a few weeks, and he will present it later on this week. The purpose of the speech is a self-introduction, where students share three personal anecdotes that illustrate what matters to them.
Helping him plan and organize this speech was challenging. Every time I offered encouragement or asked a guiding question, he would counter with a self-defeating statement.
His speech teacher mentioned to me that he overheard Phillip say in class, “I don’t know why people have so much faith in me.”
This week, I asked Phillip to practice his speech during our session. He opened his Chromebook to check his notes; I kept an eye on the clock to monitor his timing (the speech needed to be between two to three minutes long). He started out slowly, but he picked up momentum and enthusiasm as he talked. He mentioned his love of drawing and playing video games, and he’d like these interests to lead him to a career path that involves designing video games in the future.
His points were clear, engaging, and organized—and, his speech was two minutes and twenty seconds long!
I told him that he did a great job, and that I was really proud of him. For once, he didn’t respond with self-criticism, and he didn’t argue with me that it was actually a horrible speech. This is positive progress and a step in the right direction for Phillip.
Offering heartfelt encouragement can mean all the difference to someone, especially during challenging times. Tending to others, even in small ways, can have lasting, meaningful effects.
MEANINGFUL ACTION:
Another way to demonstrate compassion on a larger scale is to take meaningful action. There are multitudes of ways to take meaningful action. For me, it involves staying informed—and relying on credible, fact-based news sources (NPR, PBS News Hour, MSNBC are my go-to sources, along with Heather Cox Richardson’s daily letters for historical context).
This week, I have called state and national leaders—members of the General Assembly and Congress—to voice my opinions on local and national issues that matter to me. Taking the time to do this makes me feel empowered, and speaking up for the benefit of others is a practical way to generate bodhicitta.
Taking the time to call members of Congress prevents me from slipping into a state of hopelessness, and being informed helps me to feel grounded.
Of course, my personal meditation practices, in challenging times and in easy times, help me to stay steady, calm, and grounded as well. Taking refuge and diving into familiar practices allows me to find clarity and equanimity, and I hope your practices benefit you as well.
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May you find peace and happiness in this New Year. May you also find wisdom, and may you cultivate compassion, meaning, humor, hope, and justice. Be well, and, by all means, keep practicing.
Several new Middle Moon Malas designs have been added to the current online collection. Each one-of-a-kind design is intended to support and inspire meaningful practice.
Resolve and Dissolve: Setting Intentions and Managing Changes in 2017 January 2, 2017 20:02
Yep--it's that time of year again. It's the start of a new year, which brings change, new beginnings, and the hope of a brighter future. The ball drops, fireworks bloom in the night sky, champagne, kisses--the works.
Most changes occur slowly, which is good. It makes them easier to process. However, managing change--even small ones--can seem daunting at first. I like setting intentions at the start of a new year. It's not unlike embarking on a mantra practice, or designing a mala. The following tips help me stay clear and focused, and they help me navigate my way through change in order to grow.
*Don't Focus on the Whole...Focus on the Individual Pieces
Managing fresh starts and new patterns requires patience, practice, and time. At first, the project, goal, or intention may seem overwhelming. When I'm designing a mala, for instance, I arrange the beads one at a time. When the layout is complete, and the stringing begins, all that matters is this bead, this loop, this knot. One, by one, until the design is complete. It's that simple. I don't worry about how many beads I can string in an hour--or when I'll be finished. Focusing on the individual pieces is like appreciating each step on a journey rather than fixating on arriving at the destination. Focusing on what's right in front of me keeps me rooted in the present, and it allows me to enjoy and appreciate the adventure, no matter how long it takes, or if it's completed at all.
* Offer a Dedication
Purpose helps to add meaning to any task, even mundane ones. Usually, I practice japa in the evening. I'm more relaxed, and I generally have more time to devote to the practice. Sometimes, however, I wait too long--I'm tired, impatient, and just want it to be over, so I can go to bed. Chanting a mantra just to recite it 108 times is a waste of time and energy. Offering a dedication to the practice adds sincerity, significance, and motivation. For example, before I practice, I hold my mala in my hands and offer an intention--that my students will do well on their final exams--or, I dedicate my practice to a friend who is dealing with the loss of a parent--or to a friend who is giving birth to her first child. I may offer peace and healing to strangers who are suffering in a city halfway around the world. By doing this, I'm not just practicing for myself--I'm practicing to benefit others as well. Big or small, offering a dedication can bolster motivation and infuse any resolution with purpose and meaning.
* Seek a Fresh Perspective
I like variety, I like having options, and a change of scenery can do wonders for a resolution or intention that's reached a plateau or grown a little stale. Sometimes I like to work on a mala at the kitchen table. I like the lighting and the view from the window. Sometimes, I prefer to work upstairs (we have more channel options on the TV), so I can string beads and watch a movie. (One of my favorite designs was an Unakite mala that I strung while watching the Bollywood classic, Bride and Prejudice :). If the weather's nice, I can work outside at the patio table and listen to birds, cicadas, children laughing in the neighbor's yard. A change of setting can offer much needed inspiration, a change in perspective, or a boost in creativity.
I'm not sure where 2017 will lead, but my intention is to continue to learn,grow, and navigate the changes and surprises that this year will undoubtedly bring by continuing my japa practice, and to enjoy creating beautiful malas for others. Happy New Year, everyone! Enjoy this year's journey.
Grandmother Spider May 17, 2015 17:44
This morning I watched a beautiful corn spider sitting in the middle of her web in our front garden. She waited patiently among her carefully arranged silken cords, her intricate yellow and black coloring contrasting sharply with Hosta leaves and white rhododendrons.
To the Hopi, Grandmother Spider is an earth goddess. To the Cherokee, she is a bringer of light. Ancient Egyptians believed that the spider was a spinner and weaver of destiny. Grandmother Spider is Thinking Woman. What she thinks about, manifests, and we are all connected to this universal source of creativity.
Our lives aren't simply an assortment of random happenings. For each of us, there is an underlying pattern and design, and, to some extent, we have a little control over our lives. With our thoughts, with our actions and reactions, and with our words, we determine, to some degree, our future and our possibilities.
The word "bead" is derived from the Anglo-Saxon words "bidden" (to pray) and "bede" (prayer). We all have access to the creative silk that resides within us. Where will it lead us? We are constantly assessing and reassessing our lives, taking stock, making changes, making mistakes, making discoveries, correcting, and second-guessing, but in the end, it all leads us exactly where we were meant to go.
One bead at a time, one prayer at a time, one breath at a time, each moment is a small flash in time that eventually leads us to the larger picture.
This beautiful garden spider reminded me that everything is linked; everything is connected, whether you are stringing beads, stringing prayers, stringing thoughts, words, or numbers, we are the architects and designers of our own lives. As long as we are authentic, as long as we honor our own creative endeavors, as long as we work to build a life full of meaning, our lives will, in fact, be beautiful, interconnected, and meaningful. It takes trust, it takes courage, it takes forgiveness, it takes commitment, and it takes patience, but in the end, the larger picture is well worth the journey.