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Empathy: A Prelude to Compassion, Confidence, and Happiness September 30, 2025 19:23
On my way to Bloomington this past Sunday, I stopped at a local gas station. As I walked in, the owner greeted me with a sincere smile. He was wearing plastic gloves and was carefully placing slices of pepperoni on a pizza. He removed his gloves before ringing me up and taking my cash, and then said, “Have a good day.”
When I went outside to pump gas in my car, I noticed droplets of liquid dripping from the hose. At first, I thought it might be residual rain water or condensation from morning dew, but I also noticed fumes emanating from the liquid, dancing like transparent squiggles.
My heart started racing when I realized that this pump was leaking gasoline, and these droplets were beginning to accumulate on the pavement.
I had flashbacks of action flicks where cars blew up and people ran screaming to escape catastrophic flames. Thankfully, my car didn’t explode, and I was able to fill my tank safely.
I could have just hopped in my car and sped off without saying anything. I WAS concerned about my own safety, and I didn’t want to die. However, I knew that I would not be the only one fueling up at that pump today. What started as a small leak could worsen and cause serious harm to others.
I took the time to walk back inside and tell the owner that Pump #1 was leaking gas. He thanked me and reassured me that he would take care of it right away.
Empathy quickly progressed to compassion.
Empathy is an internal emotional response, and it’s one that helps to build connections and to understand others.
Empathy requires awareness, focus, and bravery. It is a foundational building block that supports compassion.
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In recent years, several conservative podcasters, pundits, and political leaders have expressed sharp criticism for empathy, claiming that empathy is toxic, negative, and unnecessary.
In a March 2025 interview on the Joe Rogan podcast, Elon Musk proclaimed, “The fundamental weakness of Western civilization is empathy.”
I couldn’t disagree more with this statement. In fact, the lack of empathy is a major red flag. It can be a symptom of a serious disorder. For example, narcissists lack empathy, as do sociopaths and psychopaths.
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While empathy is an internal response, allowing individuals to “feel with” another and acknowledge another’s suffering, compassion is an external response, a call to action in order to alleviate the suffering of another.
Compassion requires empathy. Compassion is a strong desire to reach out to others—to act in service to others. Compassion is empowering, and it fosters peace. It’s also essential for communities and civilizations to thrive.
During the Dharma talk in Bloomington on Sunday, Ven. Minyak Rinpoche mentioned, “The real enemy lies within—and the real enemy is our destructive, negative emotions.” By training the mind and taming these negative emotions, we have a greater capacity for empathy and compassion.
Compassion is a transformer, of sorts—it allows us to reshape our negative emotional states into positive ones. It is an antidote, and it can be our superpower.
Compassion and kindness are strengths, not weaknesses, and they are universal practices that we can all access if we choose.
Compassion is empathy in action, but it does not have to be dramatic or epic to be effective. Often, small acts of compassion can make a tremendous difference in our lives.
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My friend Kim recently acquired a new dog. Max is a ten-year-old mutt who was abandoned by a family who recently moved away. When she found him, he was severely dehydrated. He was dirty with leaves and burrs caught in his fur. She had no idea how long he had been wandering the streets. She took him to a nearby vet and made attempts to track down his original owner. When no one claimed him, she did, and Max is currently living a very happy, safe, and comfortable life with my friend and her family.
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Compassion is often a win-win, where all parties benefit, flourish, and grow.
At the heart of compassion and empathy is the desire to be of benefit to others—to help others rather than focusing on our own selfish interests.
I agree wholeheartedly with Ira Byock, physician, author, and advocate of palliative care: “We are at our best when we serve others. Be civilized.”
His Holiness the Dalai Lama often teaches about the benefits of compassion: “Compassion gives us inner strength. It gives us confidence, and that reduces fear, which, in turn, keeps our minds calm. Therefore, compassion has two purposes: it causes our brain to function better, and it brings inner strength. These, then, are the causes of happiness.”
Cultivating empathy leads to compassion, and compassion helps us to manage our emotions and generate happiness. What could be more essential to civilization than that?
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Thank you for reading this month’s blog offering. I hope the month of September has treated you well. Earlier this month, I had a pleasant opportunity to participate as a vendor at an in-person event and sold several malas and quarter malas. As a result, I have added several new mala designs to the online collection. Please take a few moments to view the current collection.
I also create custom designs (quarter malas and full malas) and offer restringing services. Please reach out via the Contact Us page for requests and inquiries.
Anatomy of a Mala: Why Each Part Matters May 2, 2017 11:41
I recently had a friend of mine ask if she should include a tassel on a mala that she had created. I explained to her that the tassel is an incredibly important component of a mala, and that I have never designed a mala without one.
Each aspect of a mala has a specific, significant role. Together, these parts create a holistic system and tool for generating awareness, bliss, and peace. Understanding the role that each part plays can add more meaning to your personal japa, chanting, or meditation practice.
A mala is much more than beads on a string. It’s a garland that doubles as a metaphor for life in our universe. Every bead represents a truth or principle, and over time, the beads absorb the energy of our focus and attention. Just as we infuse each bead with our intentions with each recitation, we create the life we live by infusing each moment with our thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs.
The Thread: "Sutra" is the Sanskrit word for thread or line that holds everything together. The thread or cord running through the mala holds and supports the beads. Consequently, it represents the Cosmic Creative Force that supports or sustains every part and every being in the universe.
The Beads: The 108 beads collectively represent the universe itself, but individually, they represent the beautiful aspects of life--the good times--beautiful sunsets, grandchildren, hot chai on a rainy day, loyal and supportive friends. These beads are arranged on a never-ending circle, creating a circuit of positive energy that drives life forward into hope and gratitude.
The Knots: The knots between the beads make the mala stronger. They prevent the beads from rubbing together and cracking over time; however, they also represent life's challenges—a flat tire, an uncertain medical diagnosis, the loss of a job or a loved one. These knots fall between the smoother, more beautiful aspects of life. They also signify the Divine link present among all beings in the universe. Though challenging, these knots remind us that all aspects of life are connected and supported in the universal sutra of life.
The Guru (or Meru) Bead: "Guru" means teacher, and "Meru" means mountain in Sanskrit. The guru or meru bead is often the 109th bead that is connected to the tassel, and it represents the state of transcendental consciousness or awareness, the central goal of meditation practice. In order to reach this supreme state of understanding, one must be brave and courageous enough to stay the course--perhaps completing many cycles, many repetitions along the sutra of life--encountering both blessings and challenges along the way. These blessings and challenges lead us to find our ultimate teacher and climb that intimidating peak of awareness one step, one bead at a time.
The Tassel: On a mala, the tassel is an extension of the string or sutra that binds the garland together. It represents our connection to the Divine (whatever that means to you) and the interconnectedness of all beings. It is a reminder of oneness and unity--that we are all connected--and regardless of the challenges that we face or the rewards that we reap, we're all really traveling together, and we have something beautiful to look forward to at the end of our journey.
Consequently, a mala is much more than a collection of beads strung together. It represents the compass on your journey as a meditator or practitioner, and it connects you to all other beings who are finding their path, in their own way, one moment, one circumstance, one bead at a time.
Visit our online shop for one-of-a-kind mala designs: middlemoonmalas.com.