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Encouragement as an Antidote to Chaos: Thanksgiving and Thanksreceiving November 30, 2025 13:50
I was driving to school a few days before Thanksgiving. It was early in the morning, it was dark, and the streets were wet from rain. The traffic lights in the distance turned green, and those green lights reflected on the wet road and stretched out along the street toward my car in long, narrow, blurry points, encouraging me along the way.
Encouragement is a practice, and it can be an antidote to chaos and uncertainty.
My husband and I went to the grocery store last Saturday afternoon—the Saturday before Thanksgiving. As we pulled into the crowded parking lot, we slowed down and stopped at the sign in front of the store. A woman pushing a cart loaded with groceries crossed in front of us. To us, it was a commonsense gesture—to stop for her…at a stop sign—to let her cross; obviously, it meant more to her, though. She smiled, waved, and blew kisses at us as she crossed and pushed her cart toward her car. We weren’t doing anything exceptional; however, sometimes it feels good to be enthusiastically, and sincerely acknowledged for doing what you’re supposed to do.
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The following Saturday (post-Thanksgiving), Jim and I went to the same grocery store several hours earlier than usual in order to beat a forecasted winter storm. Traffic was very light at 7:00AM. We had no trouble finding a parking spot, and the few shoppers in the store were outnumbered by workers stocking shelves.
The produce section was already fully stocked, which was a pleasant surprise, and we didn’t have to wait in a long checkout line.
I asked our cashier, Bri, if she had a good Thanksgiving.
“I was here,” she said, “and…I was here yesterday,” which was Black Friday.
Bri looked fatigued and discouraged as she scanned our groceries.
“I hope you had had kind and patient customers,” I offered, while bagging our groceries and placing them in our cart.
She shrugged her shoulders and added, “It was pretty crazy yesterday.”
Another cashier stopped by her register and announced that they were going to be understaffed…again. Bri was concerned that her manager would forget about her break as a result.
As Bri handed us our receipt, I said, “We won’t forget you, Bri, and we appreciate your dedication and hard work.”
Bri’s face lit up when she heard me say her name. She smiled and encouraged us to “stay warm.”
Empathy and kind words may not be enough to alleviate fatigue and frustration, but for a moment, at least, I hope that Bri felt seen and appreciated.
Sometimes, a kind word from a stranger at 7:30 in the morning on a snowy Saturday after the biggest shopping day of the year can help make the day flow a little more smoothly. I certainly hope that was the case for Bri.
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The Saturday after Thanksgiving is Small Business Saturday, and later that day I purchased a beautiful, hand-knitted blanket from a friend’s wife who is exceptionally creative, and who is also on the verge of starting her own small business.
This blanket is circular with small, knitted roses at the edges so that when it’s folded and rolled, it resembles a bouquet of red roses. It will make a lovely gift for a special friend this Holiday Season, and it felt good to support another friend on her entrepreneurial journey.
Encouragement doesn’t only benefit those who receive it; it also benefits those who give it.
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Earlier this month, I met with one of my regular tutoring students, David. David has been struggling in his English class for much of this semester—not because he found the work of writing essays intellectually challenging, but because of procrastination. Delay, delay, delay is David’s downfall.
David would come to my office each week and stand in front of my desk. I have several chairs in my office, and most of the students I work with choose to sit in them during our meetings. David, however, prefers to stand.
He was guarded, stoic, and standoffish during many of our sessions. He was often eager to leave and rarely offered details and information without being prompted.
As the semester progressed, I’d ask him about the topics that he chose for his essays. I learned that he had an interest and an in-depth knowledge about Afro-Cuban music. He also was curious about civil rights leaders. I responded with interest and encouragement, and he continued to write and turn in his assignments.
At this point, we have a few weeks remaining in the semester, and David is very close to earning a B in his English class. The last time he came to my office, he stood in front of my desk, as usual. However, at the end of our brief meeting, he walked around my desk and gave me a hug and said, “Thank you.”
Keep in mind, I work part-time at a high school, and I often feel invisible in this role. I’m lucky if students make eye contact with me in the hallway, or smile, or even say, “Hello.”
High school kids aren’t big on hugging, so this was significant.
Encouragement inspired David to work to his potential, and his sincere gesture of appreciation encouraged me to realize that what I do does matter. It was a win-win.
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Encouragement is an antidote. It uplifts, acknowledges, comforts, inspires, and reassures. It also propels us forward and fosters meaningful connections with others, especially during times when we are feeling vulnerable, uncertain, or afraid in a crazy, chaotic world.
Encouragement is a meaningful practice, and I encourage you to incorporate it in your own life in whatever ways resonate with you.
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Thank you for taking the time to read this month’s offering. I hope you enjoyed the Thanksgiving holiday with your loved ones.
Please check out the current Middle Moon Malas collection. These hand-knotted, one-of-a-kind designs make thoughtful gifts for meditators and wellness enthusiasts. Know that I also offer restringing services and create custom designs upon request. Simply send me a message via the Contact Us page.
I am grateful for all of you, and I hope the month of December treats you well.
In the meantime, keep practicing.
Empathy: A Prelude to Compassion, Confidence, and Happiness September 30, 2025 19:23
On my way to Bloomington this past Sunday, I stopped at a local gas station. As I walked in, the owner greeted me with a sincere smile. He was wearing plastic gloves and was carefully placing slices of pepperoni on a pizza. He removed his gloves before ringing me up and taking my cash, and then said, “Have a good day.”
When I went outside to pump gas in my car, I noticed droplets of liquid dripping from the hose. At first, I thought it might be residual rain water or condensation from morning dew, but I also noticed fumes emanating from the liquid, dancing like transparent squiggles.
My heart started racing when I realized that this pump was leaking gasoline, and these droplets were beginning to accumulate on the pavement.
I had flashbacks of action flicks where cars blew up and people ran screaming to escape catastrophic flames. Thankfully, my car didn’t explode, and I was able to fill my tank safely.
I could have just hopped in my car and sped off without saying anything. I WAS concerned about my own safety, and I didn’t want to die. However, I knew that I would not be the only one fueling up at that pump today. What started as a small leak could worsen and cause serious harm to others.
I took the time to walk back inside and tell the owner that Pump #1 was leaking gas. He thanked me and reassured me that he would take care of it right away.
Empathy quickly progressed to compassion.
Empathy is an internal emotional response, and it’s one that helps to build connections and to understand others.
Empathy requires awareness, focus, and bravery. It is a foundational building block that supports compassion.
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In recent years, several conservative podcasters, pundits, and political leaders have expressed sharp criticism for empathy, claiming that empathy is toxic, negative, and unnecessary.
In a March 2025 interview on the Joe Rogan podcast, Elon Musk proclaimed, “The fundamental weakness of Western civilization is empathy.”
I couldn’t disagree more with this statement. In fact, the lack of empathy is a major red flag. It can be a symptom of a serious disorder. For example, narcissists lack empathy, as do sociopaths and psychopaths.
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While empathy is an internal response, allowing individuals to “feel with” another and acknowledge another’s suffering, compassion is an external response, a call to action in order to alleviate the suffering of another.
Compassion requires empathy. Compassion is a strong desire to reach out to others—to act in service to others. Compassion is empowering, and it fosters peace. It’s also essential for communities and civilizations to thrive.
During the Dharma talk in Bloomington on Sunday, Ven. Minyak Rinpoche mentioned, “The real enemy lies within—and the real enemy is our destructive, negative emotions.” By training the mind and taming these negative emotions, we have a greater capacity for empathy and compassion.
Compassion is a transformer, of sorts—it allows us to reshape our negative emotional states into positive ones. It is an antidote, and it can be our superpower.
Compassion and kindness are strengths, not weaknesses, and they are universal practices that we can all access if we choose.
Compassion is empathy in action, but it does not have to be dramatic or epic to be effective. Often, small acts of compassion can make a tremendous difference in our lives.
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My friend Kim recently acquired a new dog. Max is a ten-year-old mutt who was abandoned by a family who recently moved away. When she found him, he was severely dehydrated. He was dirty with leaves and burrs caught in his fur. She had no idea how long he had been wandering the streets. She took him to a nearby vet and made attempts to track down his original owner. When no one claimed him, she did, and Max is currently living a very happy, safe, and comfortable life with my friend and her family.
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Compassion is often a win-win, where all parties benefit, flourish, and grow.
At the heart of compassion and empathy is the desire to be of benefit to others—to help others rather than focusing on our own selfish interests.
I agree wholeheartedly with Ira Byock, physician, author, and advocate of palliative care: “We are at our best when we serve others. Be civilized.”
His Holiness the Dalai Lama often teaches about the benefits of compassion: “Compassion gives us inner strength. It gives us confidence, and that reduces fear, which, in turn, keeps our minds calm. Therefore, compassion has two purposes: it causes our brain to function better, and it brings inner strength. These, then, are the causes of happiness.”
Cultivating empathy leads to compassion, and compassion helps us to manage our emotions and generate happiness. What could be more essential to civilization than that?
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Thank you for reading this month’s blog offering. I hope the month of September has treated you well. Earlier this month, I had a pleasant opportunity to participate as a vendor at an in-person event and sold several malas and quarter malas. As a result, I have added several new mala designs to the online collection. Please take a few moments to view the current collection.
I also create custom designs (quarter malas and full malas) and offer restringing services. Please reach out via the Contact Us page for requests and inquiries.