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Compassion Is the Antidote: Integrating Joy, Justice, and Humor into Practice January 31, 2025 22:12
If you prefer to listen to this month's blog offering, please click HERE for the audio link.
In some ways, the month of January has slowly dragged on as if we were pulling a heavy weight uphill. At the same time, it seems to have streaked by like a flash of light. I don’t know about you, but I am exhausted! We have certainly witnessed and endured a great deal this month, from political chaos to environmental disasters to personal tragedies…the suffering has been overwhelming this month.
WISDOM:
It’s certainly easy to get bogged down with all the bad news. Personally, I have found a bit of relief in the wisdom of others. I recently listened to an interview on Kelly Corrigan’s podcast, Kelly Corrigan Wonders, with the writer Kendra Adachi. They were discussing Adachi’s book, The Plan: Manage Your Time Like a Lazy Genius.
This book, which I was able to check out from my local library, is a delightful read that is packed with helpful tips and nuggets of wisdom. This book is not just about time management; it’s about how to live a meaningful, integrated life.
Adachi’s advice is clear and practical, and I love her humorous footnotes as well. One of the biggest messages that resonated with me was, “The goal is not greatness. The goal is integration.”
Living a wholehearted life as opposed to accomplishing an endless list of tasks sounds great to me! The major tenets of living an integrated life include accepting ourselves as is, taking care of ourselves, embracing our lives as works-in-progress, and tending to our daily responsibilities with patience and compassion.
Instead of feeling fragmented and scattered with everything that we’d like and need to do, being grounded, steady, and calm are essential for cultivating an integrated life. Integration is the key to bringing all of those scattered parts together, along with compassion, kindness, and care.
Adachi’s book has been a welcome life raft for me this month, (and Kelly Corrigan’s podcast is amazing, too). While reading her book, one of her footnotes captured my attention and led me to check out another book from the library: The Enneagram for Black Liberation: Return to Who You are beneath the Armor You Carry by Chichi Agorom.
I don’t know very much about the enneagram system, but this book is certainly much more than a catalogue of personality types. Agorom’s book is well-written and engaging. I’ve just started diving in, but this quote captured my attention right away:
“Wellness is a state of balance that comes from having our personal, relational, and collective needs met. Because wellness includes the PERSONAL, RELATIONAL, and COLLECTIVE, there can be no wellness without justice. If the systems that govern our communities are structured in a way that ignores or exacerbates our needs, we cannot be truly well.”
If you, too, are feeling a bit overwhelmed, finding solace and inspiration in the wisdom of others may be of help. Follow what fascinates you—investigate what makes you curious.
COMPASSION:
Another antidote is compassion. Compassion takes this notion of integration to the next level.
The good news is, compassion is something we can all cultivate on a personal level—which means we are in charge of our own capacity to be kind and caring to ourselves and to others.
Recently, I had a conversation with one of the students I tutor on a weekly basis. I’ll refer to him as Phillip (not his actual name). Phillip is a very sensitive student; he’s prone to anxiety, and he can be extremely self-critical. Plagued with self doubt, he often sabotages his own learning and success by putting himself down.
Phillip has been working on a speech for his English class for a few weeks, and he will present it later on this week. The purpose of the speech is a self-introduction, where students share three personal anecdotes that illustrate what matters to them.
Helping him plan and organize this speech was challenging. Every time I offered encouragement or asked a guiding question, he would counter with a self-defeating statement.
His speech teacher mentioned to me that he overheard Phillip say in class, “I don’t know why people have so much faith in me.”
This week, I asked Phillip to practice his speech during our session. He opened his Chromebook to check his notes; I kept an eye on the clock to monitor his timing (the speech needed to be between two to three minutes long). He started out slowly, but he picked up momentum and enthusiasm as he talked. He mentioned his love of drawing and playing video games, and he’d like these interests to lead him to a career path that involves designing video games in the future.
His points were clear, engaging, and organized—and, his speech was two minutes and twenty seconds long!
I told him that he did a great job, and that I was really proud of him. For once, he didn’t respond with self-criticism, and he didn’t argue with me that it was actually a horrible speech. This is positive progress and a step in the right direction for Phillip.
Offering heartfelt encouragement can mean all the difference to someone, especially during challenging times. Tending to others, even in small ways, can have lasting, meaningful effects.
MEANINGFUL ACTION:
Another way to demonstrate compassion on a larger scale is to take meaningful action. There are multitudes of ways to take meaningful action. For me, it involves staying informed—and relying on credible, fact-based news sources (NPR, PBS News Hour, MSNBC are my go-to sources, along with Heather Cox Richardson’s daily letters for historical context).
This week, I have called state and national leaders—members of the General Assembly and Congress—to voice my opinions on local and national issues that matter to me. Taking the time to do this makes me feel empowered, and speaking up for the benefit of others is a practical way to generate bodhicitta.
Taking the time to call members of Congress prevents me from slipping into a state of hopelessness, and being informed helps me to feel grounded.
Of course, my personal meditation practices, in challenging times and in easy times, help me to stay steady, calm, and grounded as well. Taking refuge and diving into familiar practices allows me to find clarity and equanimity, and I hope your practices benefit you as well.
***
May you find peace and happiness in this New Year. May you also find wisdom, and may you cultivate compassion, meaning, humor, hope, and justice. Be well, and, by all means, keep practicing.
Several new Middle Moon Malas designs have been added to the current online collection. Each one-of-a-kind design is intended to support and inspire meaningful practice.
Post-Pandemic Practice Blues: Navigating the New Normal June 30, 2021 18:30
If you prefer to listen to this month's blog post, please click here for the audio link.
I'm on summer break... I'm fully vaccinated... COVID restrictions are lifting!
I have had a couple of opportunities to meet friends who I haven't seen in ages for lunch. I attended a Summer Solstice event at a local park recently as a vendor and sold a couple of malas in person.
I've had more time to read and attend book club meetings (virtual ones--which is just fine).
On the outside, things are looking really good--almost, dare I say, normal?
However, on the inside, things are a bit shaky.
My meditation practice, especially, has been sputtering a bit.
During the pandemic, I looked forward to meditation practice. My cushion was a safe place, and the practice, a welcome refuge.
Over the course of these last few weeks, I've noticed that I've been putting off the things that have brought me comfort and solace during the pandemic, including my meditation practice. I typically sit in the evening when the house is quiet and still. Lately, I have been delaying my practice, pushing it off to later and later in the evening, until I'm too tired to practice with a clear head, and, as a result, I haven't been sitting as long, and the quality of the practices haven't been as beneficial.
Even when I do practice early enough in the evening, I feel anxious or jumpy. I can't settle in on the cushion like before, and random thoughts, memories, and worries interrupt and intrude more frequently.
Sadhana practices feel more mechanical, like I'm reciting on auto-pilot.
I'm having trouble focusing on any task for very long, really. I feel scattered and pulled in different directions.
The doors to the world are opening, and the distractions and anxieties are flying in!
Transitions are not easy, and reintegration after pandemic lockdown is no exception.
While this shift is a bit disconcerting and frustrating, I take solace in knowing that nothing is permanent. I've also taken a few simple steps to navigate and remedy this transition.
* Shorter Sitting Times
Instead of putting all of my meditation eggs in one basket and having one longer sitting session in the evening, I've found that sitting for short periods of time a few times each day is helpful.
* Embracing Variety
Sometimes the distractions and discursive thoughts are so intense that meditating in a traditional seated posture is just not going to happen. So, I've found that giving myself permission to meditate while lying down, or even while moving slowly and mindfully, helps me to maintain single-pointed focus more effectively.
The other day, my meditation practice consisted of mindfully sweeping and mopping the floors upstairs. Honestly, it was one of the best sessions I've had all week--and, as an added bonus, my floors are clean, too :).
* Comparisons and Expectations are Saboteurs
After experiencing several months of meditation sessions that were fairly steady and smooth, and then suddenly experiencing choppy waters of resistance and worry, it's easy to fall into thought spirals fraught with comparisons and expectations. Each meditation session is different, so comparing a session to one from the day or week or month before is usually counter productive. Similarly, sitting with an expectation to have a "successful" practice is just as useless. Comparisons and expectations can sabotage any practice (not just meditation).
Gently reminding myself that each practice will be different, and that sitting (lying down, or moving mindfully) without any expectations is both reassuring and helpful.
* Parts and Sections
Instead of completing a full sadhana practice with all the bells and whistles, I have found that focusing on one part or section of the practice to be very helpful. For example, reciting the Refuge Prayer or Generating Bodhicitta, and then pausing to sit and contemplate this part of the practice has been extremely helpful. It allows me to slow down, still the chattering mind, and take in (and enjoy) a specific part of the practice without feeling compelled to jump ahead.
*Words of Inspiration
Another strategy that I've found helpful (and is a practice in and of itself) is reading a short passage or page from an inspiring book or article. Then, taking time to sit and think about this passage for a few minutes.
I keep a few books on my altar space. I gravitate to books with very short chapters or even poetry collections (i.e. Natalie Goldberg's Three Simple Lines, Thich Nhat Hanh's Peace Is Every Step).
Right before I sat down to write this article, a Feldenkrais friend of mine had posted an inspiring quotation on her Facebook page.
"Busy-ness steals imagination.
Being constantly over scheduled dims creativity.
Doing the most limits your capacity to expand.
Pause."
Octavia Raheem
This quotation resonates--and I just might sit with it this afternoon.
* Be Gentle and Patient
Baby steps are essential for navigating most transitions. I am at my best when I am kind, patient, and operating from a place of non-judgment. Berating myself is not helpful, neither are getting huffy and worked up because I can't sit still. Cultivating kindness and reminding myself to be gentle and easy with myself is a practice in an of itself!
*Consistency
Finally, being consistent has been extremely helpful during this unsteady, awkward time. If I do some form of practice every day, I feel more grounded, and I feel like I've done something meaningful to benefit myself (and hopefully others as well).
I hope all of you are well, and I hope you are navigating these unpredictable times with grace, courage, and dignity.
Keep practicing :)
By the way--for those of you who might be interested in a new mala to celebrate the summer season or to enhance your own practice, check out the online shop (middlemoonmalas.com). I've added several new designs since last month.
Take Care--
T