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Empathy: A Prelude to Compassion, Confidence, and Happiness September 30, 2025 19:23
On my way to Bloomington this past Sunday, I stopped at a local gas station. As I walked in, the owner greeted me with a sincere smile. He was wearing plastic gloves and was carefully placing slices of pepperoni on a pizza. He removed his gloves before ringing me up and taking my cash, and then said, “Have a good day.”
When I went outside to pump gas in my car, I noticed droplets of liquid dripping from the hose. At first, I thought it might be residual rain water or condensation from morning dew, but I also noticed fumes emanating from the liquid, dancing like transparent squiggles.
My heart started racing when I realized that this pump was leaking gasoline, and these droplets were beginning to accumulate on the pavement.
I had flashbacks of action flicks where cars blew up and people ran screaming to escape catastrophic flames. Thankfully, my car didn’t explode, and I was able to fill my tank safely.
I could have just hopped in my car and sped off without saying anything. I WAS concerned about my own safety, and I didn’t want to die. However, I knew that I would not be the only one fueling up at that pump today. What started as a small leak could worsen and cause serious harm to others.
I took the time to walk back inside and tell the owner that Pump #1 was leaking gas. He thanked me and reassured me that he would take care of it right away.
Empathy quickly progressed to compassion.
Empathy is an internal emotional response, and it’s one that helps to build connections and to understand others.
Empathy requires awareness, focus, and bravery. It is a foundational building block that supports compassion.
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In recent years, several conservative podcasters, pundits, and political leaders have expressed sharp criticism for empathy, claiming that empathy is toxic, negative, and unnecessary.
In a March 2025 interview on the Joe Rogan podcast, Elon Musk proclaimed, “The fundamental weakness of Western civilization is empathy.”
I couldn’t disagree more with this statement. In fact, the lack of empathy is a major red flag. It can be a symptom of a serious disorder. For example, narcissists lack empathy, as do sociopaths and psychopaths.
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While empathy is an internal response, allowing individuals to “feel with” another and acknowledge another’s suffering, compassion is an external response, a call to action in order to alleviate the suffering of another.
Compassion requires empathy. Compassion is a strong desire to reach out to others—to act in service to others. Compassion is empowering, and it fosters peace. It’s also essential for communities and civilizations to thrive.
During the Dharma talk in Bloomington on Sunday, Ven. Minyak Rinpoche mentioned, “The real enemy lies within—and the real enemy is our destructive, negative emotions.” By training the mind and taming these negative emotions, we have a greater capacity for empathy and compassion.
Compassion is a transformer, of sorts—it allows us to reshape our negative emotional states into positive ones. It is an antidote, and it can be our superpower.
Compassion and kindness are strengths, not weaknesses, and they are universal practices that we can all access if we choose.
Compassion is empathy in action, but it does not have to be dramatic or epic to be effective. Often, small acts of compassion can make a tremendous difference in our lives.
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My friend Kim recently acquired a new dog. Max is a ten-year-old mutt who was abandoned by a family who recently moved away. When she found him, he was severely dehydrated. He was dirty with leaves and burrs caught in his fur. She had no idea how long he had been wandering the streets. She took him to a nearby vet and made attempts to track down his original owner. When no one claimed him, she did, and Max is currently living a very happy, safe, and comfortable life with my friend and her family.
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Compassion is often a win-win, where all parties benefit, flourish, and grow.
At the heart of compassion and empathy is the desire to be of benefit to others—to help others rather than focusing on our own selfish interests.
I agree wholeheartedly with Ira Byock, physician, author, and advocate of palliative care: “We are at our best when we serve others. Be civilized.”
His Holiness the Dalai Lama often teaches about the benefits of compassion: “Compassion gives us inner strength. It gives us confidence, and that reduces fear, which, in turn, keeps our minds calm. Therefore, compassion has two purposes: it causes our brain to function better, and it brings inner strength. These, then, are the causes of happiness.”
Cultivating empathy leads to compassion, and compassion helps us to manage our emotions and generate happiness. What could be more essential to civilization than that?
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Thank you for reading this month’s blog offering. I hope the month of September has treated you well. Earlier this month, I had a pleasant opportunity to participate as a vendor at an in-person event and sold several malas and quarter malas. As a result, I have added several new mala designs to the online collection. Please take a few moments to view the current collection.
I also create custom designs (quarter malas and full malas) and offer restringing services. Please reach out via the Contact Us page for requests and inquiries.
Indiana State Fair 2023: A Celebration of Interdependence August 31, 2023 13:02
If you prefer to listen to this month's blog article, please click HERE for the audio link (11 minute listen).
The Indiana State Fair is an annual, month-long summer event in Indianapolis that includes concerts, livestock, rides, games, an assortment of fried foods, and family fun.
I’m not going to lie, it’s not an event that typically appeals to me. I’m generally not jazzed about tractor pulls, midway rides, and large crowds in the unbearable summer heat and humidity of the Hoosier state.
This year, however, my daughter was working at the Newfields booth during an afternoon shift on the last Friday of this year’s fair schedule, so Jim and I decided to meet her there for dinner after her shift ended and to experience some family fun, first-hand.
Our first (and really only) obstacle was navigating rush hour traffic and finding a parking spot once we arrived. On our way there, a semi nearly missed plowing into our vehicle on I-65. The driver hadn’t been paying attention and didn’t notice that traffic was slowing.
Fortunately, we lived through that close call only to wait in line for 45 minutes as we inched our way toward a parking spot at the far end of the sandy infield of the fairgrounds.
We arrived just in time to see the fair parade, led by the famous Clydesdale horses and Budweiser carriage, followed by a marching band and several tractors pulling hordes of waving sponsors, farmers, and fair princesses with glittery pink sashes.
Elise had wandered into the parade line and met us near the grandstand. We waited in line for ears of fresh buttered sweet corn. Elise enjoyed deep fried Oreos, I chose chocolate-covered cheesecake on a stick, and Jim selected pork riblets with a Lemon Shake-up.
The weather was perfect! It was breezy and slightly cool with very low humidity, which is extremely rare for this time of year.
After “dinner,” we wandered into various livestock buildings and visited sheep, goats, alpacas, horses, and pigs.
We sat in plastic Adirondack chairs and listened to an up-and-coming local band. The band members couldn’t have been any older than the high school students I currently tutor.
We circled around the fairgrounds on a shuttle pulled by a large tractor. The long bench seats allowed for easy access on and off during the various stops.
What does all of this have to do with meditation practice? Well, the old me (the version of myself before I dedicated time to a daily practice) would have been very anxious in a crowd full of strangers, disgusted by the mingled scents of exhaust fumes, fair food, and livestock manure. The old me would have worried about the time, even on a Friday night. Honestly, the old me would have never made it to the fair to begin with—she would have insisted that the near miss with the semi was “a sign from the Universe” to just go on home.
The present me, however, was just that—present.
Jim was a little antsy as we inched our way to the infield parking lot, but I was calm and content. We had the windows rolled down and could hear the sounds of cicadas along with the gleeful shrieks coming from people on the midway rides.
The present me wasn’t worried about being late—or the time at all. I enjoyed spending time with my family and taking in all the sights and sounds without judgment, worry, or fear.
I enjoyed interacting and connecting with the animals in the livestock barns. From patting the bellies of the milk-drunk piglets to stroking the soft noses of the sheep, goats, and horses, connecting with the animals was soothing, and being with my family was comforting.
The present me even found connecting with strangers to be enjoyable. I was relaxed and at ease in the crowd. At one point, as we were walking near the midway, I met eyes with an elderly woman in a wheelchair. I smiled, said, “Hello.” Her eyes were bright and welcoming. I didn’t know her, but I felt connected to her, nonetheless. I felt connected—and interconnected with the thousands of others who were milling all around us, sharing the sights and sounds and space of this beautiful summer night.
The present me appreciated the efforts of all the hearts and hands of all ages, races, and backgrounds who came together to make this event possible: from those directing traffic in the parking lot, those preparing and serving food, those maintaining and monitoring the grounds and rides, those driving the tractor shuttles, those making public announcements, those tending to animals, and, of course, the animals. This evening was a celebration of interdependence.
My practice has changed me for the better, and it’s events like these that most clearly reveal and showcase some of these positive changes:
- Remain open and receptive to new opportunities
- See the familiar with a fresh set of eyes
- Set aside past associations and perceptions
- Remain calm and relaxed—even under pressure
- Release tension after danger has passed
- Prevent unexpected obstacles from spoiling the rest of the evening
- Remain content and patient while waiting
- Enjoy the company of loved ones and strangers
- Feel genuine love, compassion, and joy for others
- Remain focused, alert, and present without expectations
- Cultivate gratitude for others’ skills, gifts, and efforts
This is what daily practice has done for me. Over time, it has enabled me to allow, appreciate, and enjoy this precious human life.
Do I feel this connected all the time? No. However, I do feel like this more frequently than I did a decade ago. My practice has improved the overall quality of my life, and, by proxy, it has improved the lives of others around me.
I’m reflecting on this topic at a time when yet another mass shooting has occurred in our country—this time, in Jacksonville, Florida. The contrast of these two events: an enjoyable evening with my family at the fair, and yet another tragic shooting motivated by hate, ignorance, and racism—is jarring and unsettling.
One of the biggest benefits of my personal practice is that it helps me to navigate this paradox—and it motivates me to continue to practice without being discouraged by the hatred and anger of others. I can’t change other people, and I won’t allow the destructive actions of others to deter and distract me from appreciating moments of connection and presence. Despite others’ choices and actions that intensify suffering and despair, compassion, connection, interdependence, and gratitude—these are the necessary antidotes that a daily practice fosters.
I firmly believe that when enough people cultivate compassion and connection for others, meaningful change can, and will, occur. However, it must begin with individuals before the ripple effects can reach, progress, and improve society.
The Indiana State Fair may have come and gone for this year, but there will be many more opportunities to celebrate and practice interdependence by this time next summer.
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My hope is that this article inspires and supports you and your own practice in some way.
May you be well. May you be happy. And most importantly, may you continue to practice…
While you're here, don't forget to visit the Middle Moon Malas home page to view the current collection of hand-knotted malas and quarter malas.