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Mudita: A Joyful Practice August 25, 2024 17:14
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I recently watched a video of a friend of mine jumping out of an airplane for a tandem sky dive. It was something she has always wanted to do—it ranked #3 on her Bucket List. The small GoPro camera was focused on her face. I could hear high winds whipping and the sounds of her jubilant screams as she descended from the sky to earth.
At one point, she looked into the camera directly, smiled, and made the peace sign with her right hand. Variegated layers of blue sky surrounded her along with the flash of sunlight in the background.
The video ended shortly after her tandem master pulled the rip cord, and a bright yellow parachute gently supported their descent to the earth.
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Last week, my daughter and son-in-law, along with a couple of their friends, attended the Bristol Renaissance Faire in Kenosha, Wisconsin. They had a great time. Dressed as wenches and pirates, they wandered among others dressed as faeries, gnomes, wizards, peasants, and jesters.
They attended a jousting tournament, consumed fried turkey legs and mead, and watched performances with fire eaters, jugglers, and magicians.
They had a blast visiting the past.
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On Saturday, my husband and his friend, Bruce, traveled to an archery tournament near Louisville. They, along with over 100 other archers from all over the country, spent the day wandering the course and taking aim at 3-D targets. It was an especially hot day, but they enjoyed their time and friendly competition.
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Recently, friends of mine shared photos of their trip to Paris during the 2024 Olympic games. They wandered down the Champs-Élysées, and immersed themselves in the sights and sounds of this magnificent city. They visited the Louvre Museum, the Eiffel Tower, and l’Arc de Triomphe. They were also able to attend a few Olympic events (gymnastics, beach volleyball, cycling, and swimming). Both had visited Paris before, but the city was especially vibrant and bustling with visitors from all over the world. This adventure was truly the trip of a lifetime for them.
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Rejoicing for others is an important aspect of Buddhist practice. Mudita, which means sympathetic joy or vicarious joy, is a Sanskrit and Pali term. Mudita is the ability to experience altruistic and appreciative joy, to genuinely celebrate the happiness of others.
Rejoicing for others is a deep and meaningful practice. Depending upon the circumstances, and the people involved, sometimes mudita is easy to practice. Other times, it can be more challenging and difficult.
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It was easy for me to be happy for my friend, Rosi. She is an adventurer at heart, so I was not surprised at all to see her jumping out of a plane at 6,000 ft. I was truly happy for her as I watched her video. I was grateful that she and her tandem master landed safely, and I could rejoice and celebrate her act of bravery and courage.
I did not feel the tug, however, of longing to jump out of a plane myself, which made experiencing vicarious joy for my friend an easy task.
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The same goes for my daughter’s adventures. Elise has attended this Ren Faire several times with her friend, Sarah. While I enjoy seeing her photos and hearing about the events and characters she encounters, I don’t feel the need to participate in Medieval cosplay. However, I am happy to rejoice from afar…Merrily!
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My husband loves archery—and he has ever since I’ve known him. He makes time to practice every day, and he is constantly tinkering with and adjusting his bow to improve his performance. I was happy that he and Bruce could attend this tournament, and I’m glad they enjoyed their trip.
Again, rejoicing was easy-peasy. Besides, it was nice to have the house to myself on a Saturday.
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I’m not going to lie; I was a little jealous of my friends in Paris. I was happy for them, but I also had that tug of longing in my belly, and I could feel just a slight sting of envy as I watched their videos and scrolled through the photos they shared.
However, I was also grateful to be able to enjoy coverage of the Olympic games from the comfort of my own home. This eased the sting quite a bit.
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I had fallen into an unexpected mudita practice over the course of this month, and these examples were just the beginning. A much bigger challenge, however, was waiting for me.
His Holiness the Dalai Lama has been staying in the U.S. for a couple of months for a knee-replacement surgery and follow-up rehab. On Thursday, August 22, a huge crowd gathered at the UBS arena in Elmont, NY, for a long-life prayer ceremony in his honor.
Several monastics associated with TMBCC in Bloomington attended this ceremony along with a few of my Dharma friends. I wanted to attend, too. I really wanted to go, but I had other obligations.
Because it was a last-minute trip, I would have had to scramble to prepare for it. It also would have been very inconvenient for my family and my students.
I was happy for my monk friends who shared the stage with HHDL and who chanted the long-life prayers honoring him. I was also happy that this huge arena was filled with thousands of people who traveled long distances to honor and support HHDL before he returned back to Dharamshala. I was also happy for my Dharma friends who were able to make the trip to NY.
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I thought about the commitments and responsibilities that prevented me from going. I thought about the students who I helped during the week. I thought about the essays they shared with me, and the feedback that I was able to offer them before they were due.
I thought about the emails and phone calls I made during the week, and how some of those connections were essential for advocating and supporting a new faculty member in the English department.
I thought about the quiet time I had in the mornings for personal practice. I thought about the time and energy I had to take care of my home and prepare nourishing meals for Jim and me during the week.
I thought about all the amazing, joyful speeches that I was able to hear on the televised coverage of the Democratic National Convention that was held in Chicago.
I thought about the two health-related appointments that were necessary for my own self-care.
Upon reflection, it was clear that I needed to be at home. My karma required that I stay put. Besides, I was able to enjoy photos and videos that my friends shared. I was also able to watch a full-length video of the ceremony on YouTube. So, really, I didn’t miss out after all.
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In Cindy Rasicot’s biography This Fresh Existence: Heart Teachings from Bhikkhuni Dhammananda, Venerable Dhammananda, who was the first woman fully ordained in the Thai Theravada Buddhist tradition, and who is a wonderful Dharma teacher, refers to mudita as “a deep practice of overcoming oneself.”
This practice also involves acknowledging, accepting, and celebrating the successes and achievements of others. For many, this practice is a new way of thinking and moving through the world.
Venerable Dhammananda explains, “When you hear of other people’s good news, practice feeling happy for them.”
She encourages others to do the best they can without getting bogged down with the results of their efforts. If we continue to do good work, the results will naturally occur.
According to Venerable, “The good karma you perform is never lost. You will reap the reward at some point.”
Once we realize this, we can relax and soften. We don’t feel compelled to chase after enlightenment. I realized that my desire to go to New York was just that—wanting to chase after and force an enlightening experience, rather than allowing it to naturally grow organically.
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We can’t experience everything in this one precious human life. We have choices to make, priorities to assign. That’s why mudita is so important and beneficial. Genuinely celebrating the accomplishments, opportunities, and achievements of others helps to add meaning and purpose to our lives, too.
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Thank you for taking the time to read or listen to this month’s offering. I hope you will seek and cultivate many examples and opportunities for practicing mudita in your own life.
If you haven’t had a chance to visit the current Middle Moon Malas online collection, please take a few minutes to do so before you leave this page. I’ve added several new designs recently. Also, if you are interested in a custom mala or quarter mala, please send me a message via the Contact Us page. I’d be happy to create a mala design that supports and inspires your own practice.
The Best Laid Plans: Celebrating Joy on the Path March 29, 2021 13:26
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Years ago, long before I practiced meditation on a daily basis, I used to worry when things went according to plan, which seems like a silly thing to do, now that I look back. However, I was convinced that something was bound to go wrong, or that an unexpected glitch would send everything crashing to the ground.
A regular meditation practice has taught me that planning is useful, but being attached to the plans is not so good. Circumstances can shift at a moment's notice, and priorities can turn on a dime. Besides, it's rare for things to go exactly as planned.
This past Sunday, my son-in-law arranged for several family members and friends to meet at a local park. It was a surprise adventure for my daughter. He was planning to formally propose, and he wanted all of us to be there to witness it and celebrate.
Technically, Elise and Christopher are already married. They had an intimate garden wedding last June at our home. However, because of COVID restrictions, they wanted to have a more formal ceremony later this year in order to celebrate with more family members and friends.
Christopher scoped out the best trail in the park, and he arranged for various couples and family clusters to spread out and "hide" on the path. Each person was given a flower to hold.
The plan was for Elise and Christopher to walk along the trail together and "happen to encounter" various friends and family along the way. They would give her their flowers, chat briefly, and Elise and Christopher would continue on the path. By the end of the trail, Christopher's parents, Jim, and I would be waiting to greet them both with a beautiful vase full of flowers. At this point, Christopher would kneel down and pop the question.
He even arranged for friends to stop by their house and pick up Kevin, their dog. Kevin would be carrying a flower, too (a squeaky toy version) and he'd be wearing a sign around his neck that read "Will U Marry Dad?"
Keep in mind, nearly 30 people were invited to participate in this event, and some friends were traveling several hours in order to attend. It's springtime in Indiana, which means we could have a torrential downpour, a tornado, or a blizzard all in the same week. So, what could possibly go wrong?
Well, fortunately, the weather turned out to be absolutely beautiful. We had had a significant rain the day before, but the trails were dry, and a 60 degree day with full sun is about as good as it gets this time of year.
Most everyone arrived at the park on time. We had plenty of time to spread out along the trail to wait for Elise and Christopher to arrive.
Other hikers paused and asked about our flowers. We let them in on our family plan.
The only hiccup, really, was a garter snake who surprised Christopher's mom while she was sitting on a fallen log, but that wasn't a big deal. No human or snake was harmed in this surprise encounter.
We were all on the path together, and we were all here for a common purpose, to support each other and celebrate this day with Elise and Christopher.
From the woods, we could see their car pull into the crowded parking lot, and we watched as they made their way to the head of the trail.
We could hear their voices mingling with those of friends and family, their laughter ringing through the branches.
At the end of the trail, friends and family gathered under an archway. Kevin, wearing his sign, sauntered behind Christopher, who knelt into soft soil and proposed.
It was a beautiful moment, and everything fell into place in order for it to happen.
Afterwards, we gathered at Christopher's parents' home for a barbeque and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon.
It's been my experience that intention has a lot to do with the success or failure of a scheduled event or plan. It's certainly not the only factor, but I tend to find that if the intentions are positive, the outcomes will be, too.
Another necessary component is having a relaxed, flexible mindset. We did not have any rigid taskmasters in our group, thank goodness. Nothing saps the good vibes out of a fun surprise more than an anal-retentive group leader or project manager who insists on a specific time table or arbitrary rules. Christopher had created a clear plan, he shared the general instructions with everyone involved, he made arrangements in advance with a florist and with friends to pick up Kevin, and then he left it up to all of us to do our part. He was relaxed and committed to making this a special day for Elise.
Finally, not worrying about "what ifs," "glitches," and "worst case scenarios" is important as well. These only muck up plans and create unnecessary anxiety for the participants, especially worrying about things that are not in your control (like the weather, for instance).
Plans are important and necessary. They offer a bit of structure and organization to our lives, and they give us things to look forward to. Celebration and joy are equally important. They add meaning to our lives and give us an opportunity to share that meaning with others. Being flexible, relaxed, and having clear, rock-solid intentions not only benefit a personal meditation practice, but they can also help us implement and enjoy our plans and goals.
This planned surprise proposal was a success for everyone involved, especially for Elise and Christopher.
Be sure to check out the Middle Moon Malas online shop for one-of-a-kind mala designs to support and nourish your own personal meditation practice. Spring is a time for renewal, and renewing your practice with a new mala is cause for celebration and joy!