Navigating Uncertainty: Lessons Learned from India 2025 Trip July 27, 2025 18:40

Yesterday, I stopped by the school where I work. Our students return next week, and I ran into a friend of mine in the main office. Instead of the usual, "How was your trip?" Candice asked, "What did you learn from your trip to India?" 

I really appreciated this question. It was thoughtful, and it elicited a specific and equally thoughtful response. The three main lessons that I learned from my recent trip to India included the necessity of preparation, the importance of non-attachment, and the appreciation of interdependence.

Preparation:

As a habitual planner, and, oftentimes, over-planner, I have struggled with navigating uncertainty. I attribute much of this to my 30+ years as a high school English teacher; however, even in the classroom, most of the time my lesson plans didn't go as expected. I had to revise, pivot, and adjust all the time--the plans were the scaffolding, not the end result.

In the months leading up to my recent trip to India, I was consumed with planning and preparing: booking airline tickets, reserving accommodations, making appointments with travel doctors, securing travel insurance, making lists of what to bring, etc. I even pre-packed a few times to see what would fit in my suitcase.

Granted, many of these steps are necessary for ensuring safe travels; these are the things adults do when preparing for a trip, especially one that lasts three weeks.

However, even with all the preparation and planning, it did not alleviate the worry and anxiety--the pre-travel jitters, so I made sitting with uncertainty a part of my practice.  Sitting with uncertainty before and during this trip really helped me to remain present and grounded in the now--and it helped me to savor and enjoy this journey.

The last time we went to India was almost three years ago, and I traveled with a group of seven Dharma friends. We booked tickets though a travel agent, and I had absolutely no expectations since everything was new to me.

This time, however, I had a bit of a reference point. This time, I was traveling with my friend and Tibetan tutor, Ngawang, and her husband, Pema.

Several friends who had traveled with us before were traveling again this time, but they were either on their own or in smaller, separate groups. 

(Ngawang, Pema, and I at the Delhi airport at the start of our adventure)

The purpose of this trip was different, too. This time, we were celebrating HHDL's 90th Birthday in Dharamshala and the completion of Takster Rinpoche's labrang (residence) in South India.

When we traveled before, it was in November, and the weather in Dharamshala was cool and sunny. However, in late June and July, which is the start of the monsoon season, it was rainy and foggy nearly every day we were there.

(Preparations for HHDL's 90th Birthday Celebration--thousands of marigolds to be strung and hung as garlands and decorations for the temple in Dharamshala) 

We were very fortunate! Ngawang, Pema, and I were able to fly safely to and from Dharamshala without delays or cancellations. Neither of our flights was cancelled due to fog or mechanical issues. Unfortunately, this was not the case for some of our friends who were traveling separately. Some had to take night buses and long cab rides because of flight delays.

However, we had to be prepared for this possibility, too. We had arranged for back-up plans with drivers just in case. Thankfully, we didn't need to take any long detours.

(Image of cotton candy vendor in Dharamshala--it rained frequently while we were there--note the umbrella at the top of his stash--preparation is a beautiful thing)

Non-Attachment:

In addition to being as prepared as reasonably possible, I also found that one of the best ways to alleviate anxiety around uncertainty is to practice non-attachment. The more I could let go, be present, and avoid clinging to any expectations, the smoother things went for us.

I found this to be helpful with small things--like being relaxed and non-reactive when encountering monkeys, street dogs, and feral cats on the streets of Dharamshala. Being calm kept me grounded, alert, and mindful.

(monkey on a roof near the main temple in Dharamshala)

(curious feral cat)

(Street dog watching a group of monks leave the Loma Cafe in Dharamshala)

Being non-reactive, relaxed, and open  was especially helpful with more significant events as well. We arrived in Dharamshala early enough to secure an audience with HHDL before the birthday celebrations were in full swing.

On June 28th, he met with individuals in two large groups: one group of Tibetans, and another group of international guests. Ngawang and Pema were with the Tibetan group, and I was slated to join the international group.

It was touch-and-go for a while for me, though. I wasn't sure if I would be part of this meeting at all. Even though I had sent my necessary information to Geshe Sanjey a few months beforehand, for some reason, my name was not on "the list." Geshe Sanjey was extremely helpful. After a few moments of slightly tense negotiations and persuasion, Geshe Sanjey managed to convince the man with the list to add my name to it, and I was escorted to my place in line with the 200+ international visitors who were waiting to meet HHDL.

(Geshe Sanjey and I after the meeting with HHDL)

Our meeting took place outdoors, and I was relieved that the weather cooperated. We had blue skies and sunshine on this day, which was unusual--every other day that we were in Dharamshala was foggy, rainy, and cloudy.

Each of us received a white khatag (silk scarf), and we were introduced to HHDL by name, location, and if we had a connection to a specific spiritual center.

I vaguely remember hearing my name mentioned, but I do vividly remember that HHDL's eyes lit up when he heard the man making the introductions say, "Bloomington, Indiana."

I'm glad I could be there on that day to represent our center in Bloomington. Our meeting was brief, but meaningful. He clasped my hands, brought his forehead to mine, and smiled.

(feeling grateful for this opportunity)

When I met HHDL the last time, I was very nervous. On this day, though, I was relaxed, present, and open to enjoying the experience. I wasn't attached, and I wasn't worried if I would be able to meet with him again or not. I was just grateful to be in Dharamshala with my friends, and if this meeting was supposed to happen, it would.

I am very grateful that things worked out. This truly was a meaningful and joyful moment.

Interdependence:

(Door Open: sign outside a restaurant at Bylakuppe)

Being prepared is great, as is being relaxed and open-minded; however, appreciating interdependence is also an essential ingredient for navigating any situation, especially new and unfamiliar ones.

(Preschool classroom near Norbulingka Institute)

We didn't just arrange this trip by ourselves. Many hearts and hands made this journey possible--and even more helped keep us moving along the spine of India--traveling from north to south and back again--nourishing us along the way with good food and lots of tea (milk tea, butter tea, masala chai, and honey lemon ginger tea).

(Image of fruit vendor taken from bus window, somewhere in South India)

Cab drivers, bus drivers, flight attendants, luggage handlers, TSA agents, farmers, cooks, artists, engineers, architects, monastics, householders, friends, and strangers--so many helped pave the way for us to travel here.

(Young monks seek shelter from the hot sun in Mundgod)

Brick by brick

bead by bead

mantra by mantra

every stone

every drop of rain

every outstretched hand

every dog barking in the middle of the night

every flickering butter lamp

(Butter lamp offerings outside Drepung Gomang Monastery)

This trip was not completely controlled, carefully executed, or micromanaged. We were all riding the waves of our own collective karma, and the more we appreciated, acknowledged, and gave generously to others, the more everyone benefited.

(Monks at 90th Birthday Celebration for HHDL--overflow area at Kirti Monastery)

This dance of self and other is an intricate tapestry of connection and interconnection.

Wisdom, humor, curiosity, and bliss...tender hearts led us here...open minds carried us safely home again.

(Shawl vendor in McCleod Ganj)

This trip to India was a joyful journey that reinforced the importance of appreciating and embracing interdependence

of cultivating friendships

of sustaining the endless golden sutra, or cord, of kindness, compassion, and wisdom through ever-changing impermanence.

(Poets on the path: a chance reunion with poet and Tibetan activist Tenzin Tsundue on the kora in Dharamshala)

The only way we can truly develop a generous heart and cultivate wisdom, patience, ethics, and joyful effort, is to depend on others.

(Young monks and a tuk-tuk)

I'm very grateful that I had another opportunity to visit India. Each day, I made time--usually very early in the morning--to practice. This personal commitment to daily practice has become an important part of my life--whether I am at home, or traveling far away from home.

I enjoy the practice, and I also enjoy creating hand-knotted malas for others to cultivate their own practices. If you haven't visited the current collection of one-of-a-kind malas, please do. My intention is that they may encourage, inspire, and support meaningful practice for others.

Thanks for taking the time to read this month's offering.

Take care. Be well.

Warmly,

Teresa

Connections and Community: Galas, Markets, and in-Person Events May 31, 2025 16:03

If you prefer to listen to this month's blog offering, please click HERE for the audio link.

Over the course of the past few weeks, I have had several opportunities to attend events and to meet with individuals in person. This has been a refreshing change, since I usually interact with customers and clients online.

In late April, the Student Government Association at Butler University hosted a fundraising gala, and they invited me to attend as a vendor. This was an intimate event held in Dugan Hall, which is a beautiful new building that houses the Lacy School of Business.

As an alumna, it is always a joy for me to return to the Butler campus, and this evening’s event was no exception. I enjoyed chatting with the students, faculty members, and the other vendors who attended this gala. It was a lovely event, and a few quarter malas found new homes as well.

Adelynn, the student who had invited me to the event, helped me carry a box to my car afterwards. She told me that her grandmother had also attended Butler and shared stories about Starlight Musicals, which used to be held at what is now Hinkle Fieldhouse. I told her that I saw Liberace there once with my family when I was in junior high school.

Adelynn also remembered her grandmother mentioning the C-Club, which was a cafeteria for commuter students. I remember studying there between classes, reviewing Beowulf and reading poetry by Richard Brautigan and Etheridge Knight. They served excellent soups and sandwiches there. Now, it’s more like a small convenient store and study area. I wondered if Adelynn’s grandmother and I attended classes at Butler around the same time.

I thanked her for inviting me to the gala and for helping me carry my things to my car. This was the second time I had attended an event like this at Butler, and I hope to attend other events there in the future.

***

In early May, I attended a Mother’s Day Market at Hub & Spoke in Fishers, Indiana. It was also an intimate event, but that’s OK with me. Actually, I prefer smaller events to those that are extremely crowded and noisy. It’s good to have time to interact with people. Some people have questions about what malas are and how to use them. It gives me an opportunity to explain the meaning of the beads, the knots, and the tassels and to demonstrate how to use malas in meditation practice.

 It’s also helpful for people to be able to see these designs in person, especially the quarter malas. These “mini malas” are much more popular at in-person events compared to online sales. In fact, I don’t offer quarter malas on my website anymore, but I’m happy to create them as custom designs. For those who may be new to practicing with malas, these fun-sized designs are portable, affordable, and practical.

A dozen other vendors were with me at this market, also, and I enjoyed chatting with my vendor neighbors. The women across from my table sold beautiful personalized bouquets of fresh flowers and plants. On my left was a woman who worked at a local brick and mortar shop and offered hand-made soaps, teas, and essential oils.

The woman on my right was a scientist who worked full-time at a research lab, but she was helping out a friend by selling her jewelry on her behalf.

A full mala and a few quarter malas found new homes during this event, so this Mother’s Day Market was a success, as well.

***

I don’t attend very many in-person events like this. Typically, individuals will reach out for custom designs. May was certainly the month of quarter malas for me. Two weeks ago, one of my colleagues at school, Candice, asked me to create a quarter mala for her.

What’s nice about a local, in-person request like this is it allows me to bring bead samples directly to people. Usually, when I create a custom design for someone, I communicate via email and send them photos of bead options and possible layout designs.

In Candice’s case, I was able to bring in samples of Moonstone, Rose Quartz, Chrysocolla, Amazonite, Labradorite, and Amethyst beads for her to see and hold. That tactile connection is really important.

Once she decided on the beads she liked best, I was able to create two potential layout designs for her. I strung one set of beads on a variegated pink cord, and the second set on a bright teal cord.

She really liked both designs, and I was happy to create two quarter malas for her to support her personal practice.

***

A few days ago, I met with a woman named Paula who is in the process of organizing an outdoor summer festival next month. Because I will be traveling out of the country, I will not be able to attend this event; however, we met for coffee at a local coffee shop because she was interested in a full mala that I had posted on my website.

Paula explained on the phone prior to our meeting that a full mala was not in her budget at this time, but our conversation inspired me to create a quarter mala design for her that was similar to the full mala that she liked.

Consequently, I created the All You Need Is Love Quarter Mala and sent her a photo. She loved it, and we met at Mocha Nut Coffee Shop soon after that so that I could deliver her new quarter mala to her in person. We talked about our families, our travels, and our career paths over a London Fog and a Mocha Latte. We also chatted about upcoming retreats that she plans to offer, and I indicated an interest in being a vendor at these events as well.

***

It's so nice to be able to interact with people in person and to have the time to chat about our lives and what matters most to us. After all, interconnection and interdependence are important aspects of meditation.

I’m also glad that I had several opportunities this month to meet with people in person and to create malas and quarter malas that will support their personal practices.

I do have one more event coming up in June. Wellbeing Fest will occur at the Perry Township Event Center in Indianapolis from 11-4 on June 8^th. If interested, please visit holistichubwellbeingfest.com for more information and details.

If you don’t live in the Indianapolis area, and you are interested in a custom mala or quarter mala design, please don’t hesitate to send me an email via our Contact Us page. I am happy to create a one-of-a-kind design to support and inspire your meditation practice as well.

I hope you enjoy this last day of May, and I hope that June treats you well.

Thank you for taking the time to read or listen to this month’s blog post.

Take care—and keep practicing!

Liberating Beads and Tending Karmic Seeds: Each Thing in Its Time and Its Place April 30, 2025 18:45

If you prefer to listen to this month's offering, please click HERE for the audio link.

Spring Cleaning: Finding Equanimity and Peace of Mind in Purification Practices March 31, 2025 15:12

If you prefer to listen to this month's blog offering, please click HERE to access the audio link.

It started with the table.  I was standing at the sink washing dishes, and as I turned my head, I said aloud, "I can't take this anymore."

The piles of mail...the crumbs...the placemats with dried food stains...the vitamin and spice bottles that seemed to multiply and take over the table.

I knew it was time to do something. I plan a lot of things--I take comfort in planning, actually--but I rarely plan deep-cleaning adventures. I typically fall into them accidentally and organically, mainly because I tend to delay and procrastinate these projects.

But it's Spring Break--and it's the perfect time for spring cleaning adventures. I spent thirty minutes clearing off the table, scrubbing it clean, changing the placemats, and washing the large ceramic bowl that we fill with apples and use as a centerpiece. I sorted through the mail and put away all of the vitamin and spice bottles.

It was a small accomplishment, but I felt better afterwards, and it created more space and warmth in the kitchen.

This small adventure led to my cleaning off the cabinet space next to the fridge, which led, naturally, to Swedish death cleaning the bedroom closet upstairs.

It felt good to sort through and donate clothes that we no longer wear--to sweep away the cobwebs that accumulate in shadowy corners--to toss broken hangers and receipts that piled up on the dresser.

This process of clearing space, making room, and sorting through clutter felt a bit like a purification practice to me.

The following day, I was sitting in the "tiger chair" upstairs during an online meditation practice on Zoom. I've enjoyed these daily meditation sessions for the past few years. They are led by sangha members connected with Sravasti Abbey.

As we were beginning the 35 Confession Buddhas purification practice, I was distracted by the wall across from me, where I keep a framed print of Shakyamuni Buddha.

Instead of completing the usual prostrations and recitations connected with this practice, I took the framed print and other photos off of the wall and dusted the wall with a dry wash cloth. I grabbed a large plastic bowl (one leftover from my daughter's graduation party and perfect for cleaning) and filled it with soapy water. I spent the remainder of the session cleaning the wall and baseboards. I also cleaned and rehung the pictures on the wall.

Again--I noticed a difference--a subtle shift in the energy of the room. I felt lighter and uplifted as a result, and it was nice to listen to a purification practice and Lam Rim meditation while I worked.

For the rest of the week, I did a little bit more each day--one soapy, water-filled bowl at a time--until I had thoroughly cleaned the rest of the living room, the bedroom, and the upstairs bathroom.

This week-long purification process included washing walls, ceilings, and baseboards from top-to-bottom and from left-to-right. I opened the windows and let fresh air flow through the house. Accompanied by the sounds of peeper frogs and birdsong, I cleared away the dust and clutter, making room for something new and welcoming a new season.

***

In Buddhism, purification practices such as the 35 Confession Buddhas and Vajrasattva Sadhana have the power to cleanse negative karma, mental defilements, and obscurations that prevent us from progressing on the path of spiritual growth, and, ultimately, liberation from suffering.

I've heard more than one Buddhist teacher recommend completing some kind of purification practice every day in order to continue to make steady progress on the path.

I've found that dedicating a few minutes each day to offering prostrations, completing the 35 Confession Buddhas practice and Vajrasattva recitations to be personally beneficial and satisfying to my own practice. It's like a spiritual cleaning practice--a daily "tidying up" to clear away doubts, regrets, and obstacles. Purification practices help us to find equanimity and peace of mind.

***

Spring is ideal for deep cleaning; it's not only good for the home, but also for the physical and mental health of the inhabitants. Clearing away the clutter uplifts spirits and opens spaces for new growth and potential.

Happy Spring, Everyone!

I hope you make time each day to complete your own personal spiritual practices. May they be of benefit to you and to those around you.

If, like me, you are motivated to do a deep Spring cleaning as well, I recommend starting small to avoid overwhelm. Beginning with a table, a cabinet, a drawer, or a small room or closet can foster a sense of accomplishment and provide the motivation to continue your own deep cleaning adventure.

Thank you for taking the time to read or listen to this month's offering. I hope that this new Spring season is treating you well so far.

I have added a few new malas to the current Middle Moon Malas online collection. I also have a few new designs waiting in the wings. Please take a look at the current collection of one-of-a-kind, hand-knotted malas that are designed to inspire and support your own practices.

Enjoy this last day of March--I'll see you again soon at the close of April.

OM.AH.HUM.: Simple Practices, Sincere Friendships, Meaningful Blessings February 28, 2025 16:57

If you prefer to listen to this month's offering, please click HERE for the audio link.

A few summers ago, I drove a dharma friend home after we had attended a weekend teaching together in Louisville. Traffic was light on this beautiful August day—cloudless blue sky, sunny, and warm.

I enjoyed chatting with my friend, Marietta. She told me about her adventures in Nepal from years ago, and we shared stories about our families.

During this trip, I noticed something interesting about my friend. At one point during our drive, we passed a small family cemetery just off the side of the road. It included a few tombstone markers enclosed with wrought iron fencing.

When we passed it, I overheard Marietta whisper, “Om. Ah. Hum.” three times. She didn’t make a fuss about it—she didn’t even explain. It was a just simple blessing.

She may not have realized it at the time, but she actually taught me something important with that simple gesture, and she inspired me to incorporate it into my own practice.

***

Ever since that day, any time I’m in the car—whether I’m driving to and from school or Bloomington, anywhere, really—if I see an animal that’s been hit, no matter how big or small—deer, opossum, raccoon, squirrel, chipmunk—I whisper the blessing, “OM. AH. HUM.” three times.

This short, sweet prayer of purification is both simple and direct. “OM” purifies the body. “AH” purifies speech and sound. “HUM” purifies the mind.

Many times, what I think may be an animal is actually something else. I can’t tell you how many times I have “OM. AH. HUMMED” rolled up carpets, abandoned mufflers, shoes, shredded bits of semi tires, and bags of garbage on the side of the road. It doesn’t matter. I whisper “OM. AH. HUM.” anyway, hoping it may be of benefit.

Marietta’s simple gesture helped me stay alert and aware of others and my environment. That’s what this practice is all about—recognizing the relationship between self and others and acknowledging the importance of interconnection.

***

On my drive to school yesterday, a deer crossed the road several yards in front of me. Thankfully, I had plenty of time to slow down to let her cross. I could make out her silhouette in the early morning darkness. She turned her head, the flash of her bluish-green eyeshine reflected back at me.

She made it safely across the street. I slowed down even more, knowing that they often travel in groups. “OM. AH. HUM.”

It’s a reminder to take care—to remember interdependence is everywhere. Nothing we have or do exists or happens without others’ expertise, effort, or service.

Even the simplest of circumstances or situations: “OM. AH. HUM.”

This offering mantra is a simple way to give back. May you be well. May you be happy. May you live with ease. Whether in this life or the next: “OM. AH. HUM.”

***

I woke up early this morning, unsettled from a dream image.

I dreamt that I was trapped in a sphere-shaped pod. The doors were heavy and thick like those on an elevator. I kept trying to open the hatch, but the doors wouldn’t open. I peered through a cloudy square window and noticed that strangers in a nearby pod were watching me and laughing at my distress. I felt isolated, disconnected, and panicked.

The image startled me awake, and I awoke feeling scattered and anxious.

I sat up in bed and remembered a meditation that I had read by Lama Yeshe.

I closed my eyes and imagined that white light filled my head, saturating all the creases and folds of my brain—that my entire head space was saturated with this soft, white light.

I took three long, slow breaths and exhaled and vocalized an extended, “OMMMMMMMMMMM.”

I gave myself time to sit with this light image, and I let the sound drift throughout the bedroom. I allowed thoughts and feelings to drift as well as I noticed the rise and fall of my belly.

After a few minutes, I brought my attention to my throat and imagined a translucent red light saturating the vertebrae of my cervical spine, larynx, and esophagus.

I took three slow breaths, then exhaled and vocalized an extended, “AHHHHHHHHHHH.”

I visualized the soft red light and imagined that the sounds settled into the darkness of the room, into the warm flannel sheets, the books on the nightstand, the clothes hanging in the closet, and into the floor.

Finally, I brought my awareness to my heart and visualized a clear blue translucent light filling and radiating from my chest.

I took three long breaths and exhaled, “HUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMM.”

Light and sound settled my heart and mind, alleviated my anxiety, and soothed my scattered thoughts.

It just took a few minutes, but this simple meditation was an effective tool that helped me to regulate and calm my mind.

***

I am grateful for these simple and beneficial practices. I am grateful for sincere friendships, and I am grateful for those of you who take the time to read or listen to these monthly musings. 

I hope this month of February has treated you well, and I hope that March will have many blessings and meaningful lessons to offer all of us.

***

Please visit the MMM homepage HERE for the current collection of hand-knotted malas.

I’ve also included the link to the Lama Yeshe article about the OM. AH. HUM. meditation that I referenced earlier, if you’re interested.

 (Photo credit: Manoj Balotia courtesy of Unsplash)

Peace and strength to all of you—

Warmly,

Teresa

Compassion Is the Antidote: Integrating Joy, Justice, and Humor into Practice January 31, 2025 22:12

If you prefer to listen to this month's blog offering, please click HERE for the audio link.

In some ways, the month of January has slowly dragged on as if we were pulling a heavy weight uphill. At the same time, it seems to have streaked by like a flash of light. I don’t know about you, but I am exhausted! We have certainly witnessed and endured a great deal this month, from political chaos to environmental disasters to personal tragedies…the suffering has been overwhelming this month.

WISDOM:

It’s certainly easy to get bogged down with all the bad news. Personally, I have found a bit of relief in the wisdom of others. I recently listened to an interview on Kelly Corrigan’s podcast, Kelly Corrigan Wonders, with the writer Kendra Adachi. They were discussing Adachi’s book, The Plan: Manage Your Time Like a Lazy Genius.

This book, which I was able to check out from my local library, is a delightful read that is packed with helpful tips and nuggets of wisdom. This book is not just about time management; it’s about how to live a meaningful, integrated life.

Adachi’s advice is clear and practical, and I love her humorous footnotes as well. One of the biggest messages that resonated with me was, “The goal is not greatness. The goal is integration.”

Living a wholehearted life as opposed to accomplishing an endless list of tasks sounds great to me! The major tenets of living an integrated life include accepting ourselves as is, taking care of ourselves, embracing our lives as works-in-progress, and tending to our daily responsibilities with patience and compassion.

Instead of feeling fragmented and scattered with everything that we’d like and need to do, being grounded, steady, and calm are essential for cultivating an integrated life. Integration is the key to bringing all of those scattered parts together, along with compassion, kindness, and care.

Adachi’s book has been a welcome life raft for me this month, (and Kelly Corrigan’s podcast is amazing, too). While reading her book, one of her footnotes captured my attention and led me to check out another book from the library: The Enneagram for Black Liberation: Return to Who You are beneath the Armor You Carry by Chichi Agorom.

I don’t know very much about the enneagram system, but this book is certainly much more than a catalogue of personality types. Agorom’s book is well-written and engaging. I’ve just started diving in, but this quote captured my attention right away:

 “Wellness is a state of balance that comes from having our personal, relational, and collective needs met. Because wellness includes the PERSONAL, RELATIONAL, and COLLECTIVE, there can be no wellness without justice. If the systems that govern our communities are structured in a way that ignores or exacerbates our needs, we cannot be truly well.”

If you, too, are feeling a bit overwhelmed, finding solace and inspiration in the wisdom of others may be of help. Follow what fascinates you—investigate what makes you curious.

COMPASSION:

Another antidote is compassion. Compassion takes this notion of integration to the next level.

The good news is, compassion is something we can all cultivate on a personal level—which means we are in charge of our own capacity to be kind and caring to ourselves and to others.

Recently, I had a conversation with one of the students I tutor on a weekly basis. I’ll refer to him as Phillip (not his actual name). Phillip is a very sensitive student; he’s prone to anxiety, and he can be extremely self-critical. Plagued with self doubt, he often sabotages his own learning and success by putting himself down.

Phillip has been working on a speech for his English class for a few weeks, and he will present it later on this week. The purpose of the speech is a self-introduction, where students share three personal anecdotes that illustrate what matters to them.

Helping him plan and organize this speech was challenging. Every time I offered encouragement or asked a guiding question, he would counter with a self-defeating statement.

His speech teacher mentioned to me that he overheard Phillip say in class, “I don’t know why people have so much faith in me.”

This week, I asked Phillip to practice his speech during our session. He opened his Chromebook to check his notes; I kept an eye on the clock to monitor his timing (the speech needed to be between two to three minutes long).  He started out slowly, but he picked up momentum and enthusiasm as he talked. He mentioned his love of drawing and playing video games, and he’d like these interests to lead him to a career path that involves designing video games in the future.

His points were clear, engaging, and organized—and, his speech was two minutes and twenty seconds long!

I told him that he did a great job, and that I was really proud of him. For once, he didn’t respond with self-criticism, and he didn’t argue with me that it was actually a horrible speech. This is positive progress and a step in the right direction for Phillip.

Offering heartfelt encouragement can mean all the difference to someone, especially during challenging times. Tending to others, even in small ways, can have lasting, meaningful effects.

MEANINGFUL ACTION:

Another way to demonstrate compassion on a larger scale is to take meaningful action. There are multitudes of ways to take meaningful action. For me, it involves staying informed—and relying on credible, fact-based news sources (NPR, PBS News Hour, MSNBC are my go-to sources, along with Heather Cox Richardson’s daily letters for historical context).

This week, I have called state and national leaders—members of the General Assembly and Congress—to voice my opinions on local and national issues that matter to me. Taking the time to do this makes me feel empowered, and speaking up for the benefit of others is a practical way to generate bodhicitta.

Taking the time to call members of Congress prevents me from slipping into a state of hopelessness, and being informed helps me to feel grounded.

Of course, my personal meditation practices, in challenging times and in easy times, help me to stay steady, calm, and grounded as well. Taking refuge and diving into familiar practices allows me to find clarity and equanimity, and I hope your practices benefit you as well.

 ***

May you find peace and happiness in this New Year. May you also find wisdom, and may you cultivate compassion, meaning, humor, hope, and justice. Be well, and, by all means, keep practicing.

 Several new Middle Moon Malas designs have been added to the current online collection.  Each one-of-a-kind design is intended to support and inspire meaningful practice.

Suffering and Happiness: A Tangled Interconnection January 8, 2025 17:40

If you prefer to listen to this month's blog article, click HERE for the audio link.

 During a recent meditation class, my teacher, Geshe Kunga, said something that has stuck with me, and I have been mulling it over for several days.

He said that happiness and suffering are interdependent and interconnected. For example, we appreciate food more if we have ever experienced hunger first hand. If we've ever lived in a country where water was a scarce and precious resource, we are more careful about how we use water--even if we're in a place where it is plentiful.

The suffering and lack of resources stimulates an appreciation and a strong sense of responsibility. This is the relationship between suffering and happiness.

Suffering, like everything else, is impermanent--and, so is happiness. Consequently, our lives are a blend of both--just like the beads on a mala. The beads themselves represent the beautiful aspects of life. The knots between the beads represent the hardships and obstacles. A meaningful life includes a balance of both.

Since January of this year, I have been practicing Lam Rim meditations with an online group connected with Sravasti Abbey. I enjoy the daily sessions--the familiarity of the mantra recitations, the visualizations, and the analytical contemplations that comprise this daily practice.

However, there's a part of the practice that I struggle with a bit, and it makes me bristle and cringe. As we begin the Shakyamuni Buddha sadhana, we visualize our birth mother on our left and our biological father on our right as we imagine leading them, along with other sentient beings, in this practice of gratitude and appreciation.

Both of my birth parents were challenging for me in many ways. They divorced when I was very young, so I didn't really know my father. What I did know wasn't good--he was a misogynist, a bigot, and a literal card-carrying member of the KKK.

My mother survived a serious car accident when she was a teenager. She slammed through the windshield...twice...and sustained serious head trauma at sixteen when she was riding in a car with friends. 

As a result, she suffered with mental health issues ever since I can remember and even up until the time she died. When I was growing up, she took various combinations of medications over the course of decades ranging from anti-depressants to anti-psychotics. She worked with several therapists over the years, she was hospitalized several times, and she even endured shock-therapy treatments.

Looking back, I really think that she may have been misdiagnosed, and I believe that working with a therapist who specialized in trauma would have benefited her. However, I don't know if there were many specialists like that in the 70s.

Living with her when I was growing up, I remember that she was extremely self-absorbed, withdrawn, emotionally unavailable toward others, and needy. She was able to work for a while, but when she stopped working, she spent most of her time lying on the couch with her eyes closed--or staying in her room with the door closed.

She was very intelligent and bright...cogent...lucid...but also extremely preoccupied with her own wants and needs. When she did speak, it was usually something about herself or a needy request for some impulse craving: "Will you go to the store and get me a candy bar and a can of creamed corn?" 

This was an actual request--and there were many random demands like this over the years.

I didn't know about causes, conditions, and karma at the time (I grew up in a Catholic home and didn't discover Buddhism until I was in my late 20s), but her life and choices demonstrated for me the drawbacks of self-cherishing and self-grasping thoughts.

All the medications and therapy didn't really help her much. She was obsessed with herself, and her self-absorption made her (and the rest of the family) miserable. Growing up with a difficult parent and home life encouraged me to seek other alternatives.   

I walked away from Catholicism and embraced Buddhism instead.

I rejected my birth father's racist views and welcomed inclusive, anti-racist, and culturally-appreciative ideologies instead.

I did NOT want to be like my mom, so I focused more on giving rather than taking--on being of benefit to others rather than focusing on myself.

This is where suffering and happiness meet--and the line they share is in the choices we make.

If we're not happy, we can decide to choose another thought, another word, or another action. Our situation may not change immediately; it takes time. My life didn't begin to change for the better until I moved out of my parents' home at nineteen. I had to be consistent...and patient.

However, when I was in college and really focused on learning about subjects that fascinated me, especially learning how to educate others and helping others figure out what fascinated them, my life started to improve dramatically.

I have always enjoyed learning about other cultures. For a while, I considered the notion of studying cultural anthropology. Appreciating and learning about other cultures and viewpoints taught me to be open-minded and open-hearted, rather than fearful, limited, and hateful.

Interacting and teaching students from diverse cultures has enriched my life--and has encouraged me to feel connected and interconnected in this world.

Reading books and listening to music by writers and musicians from different walks of life and backgrounds has nourished my own curiosity and development.

My first teachers, my birth parents, taught me what NOT to be, what NOT to do. These early years of difficulty and suffering led to many more of growth, renewal, and happiness.

My life is far from perfect, and I am not happy all the time. That is for sure! I still struggle and suffer. I still make mistakes and screw up...a lot...but when I do, I know that I have choices. I know that I can sit with discomfort--listen to my thoughts--observe my feelings. I know that I can turn to others if I need guidance. I know that suffering, like happiness, is not permanent.

I also know that I can rely on the Dharma for inspiration. I know that I can rely on my practice for stability and clarity. I know that by focusing on others more than myself--by practicing generosity, patience, consistent and skillful effort, and by making time for daily meditation, I can manage more effectively these moments of suffering and disappointment.

Even now, having had time to reflect and write about this topic and these relationships, I now have a daily opportunity to reframe how I feel about my birth parents. My mom passed away nearly a decade ago. My birth father, I presume, is still living in a small town somewhere in Illinois. When I visualize them, appearing to my left and my right, I can now work toward feeling grateful. Despite the struggles and challenges, they taught me invaluable lessons, and my time with them eventually inspired me to grow and build a meaningful life.

My hope in writing these monthly blog posts is that they may benefit whoever reads (or listens to) them in some way.

May you continue to learn and grow in your own practice, and perhaps you'll find buried treasures among your own memories and relationships--evidence of interconnection--sparks of awareness, understanding, and compassion.

***

Several malas found new homes during this month. I've added a few to the collection, and I'm working on creating more one-of-a-kind designs. I invite you to visit the website to see what's new, and feel free to reach out if you have a special request.

Photo credit: Unsplash (kylefromthenorth)

100th Offering: Winter Reflections December 31, 2024 10:30

If you prefer to listen to this month's offering, please click HERE for the audio link.

Winter is a season of rest and renewal. It is the time of vanishing from view, and it is the time when transformation occurs…in quiet darkness.

Winter is not the death of the life cycle; it is the catalyst, the crucible, the womb. Winter is an essential period of descent, of going within, and taking much-needed time for reflection.

During this time of year, western culture encourages overworking, overspending, overeating, and overconsuming. However, in the natural world, winter encourages us to embrace the darkness, to hibernate in the womb of the earth, and to embrace this time of introspection. In this way, we are like seeds planted deep in the earth. This time of reflection is the key to the promise of blooming in the spring. It is the key to realizing our potential and to continuing to grow and progress.

This is Middle Moon Malas’ 100^th blog post. I am approaching my tenth business anniversary in 2025, and in preparing for this month’s offering, I decided to read all ninety-nine previous blogs in order.

Honestly, I dreaded this at first. Reading my own articles is a bit like listening to my own voice on a recording. I was convinced that I would cringe in embarrassment at every single article—and that I would find them to be meaningless, incoherent, and dumb.

While some offerings were more interesting than others, each one was carefully written and had something honest, intelligent, and authentic to communicate.

After reading these articles, I was pleasantly surprised, and it warms my heart to know that people from all over the world have taken the time to read or listen to these posts over the years.

So, after reading and reflecting on these monthly offerings, I’ve decided to make a list of some of the most important lessons and takeaways that I’ve learned over the course of this year. May they be of benefit to others as well.

• Cultivate a spiritual practice that resonates with you or a creative endeavor that nurtures and nourishes you—those ventures that make you forget about the time. Those labors of love that are meaningful and that foster play and curiosity. These activities are critical to your personal wellbeing and your growth as a human being. Make time for these precious practices and creative pursuits. They help make you who you are and who you will be. They are worth your time and effort. Enjoy them!

• One of the best antidotes to counter feeling discouraged, insignificant, or sad is to do something to uplift others. It doesn’t have to be dramatic or complicated. Simple and sincere actions are best. A smile, a compliment, a listening ear are all opportunities to celebrate others, and in celebrating others, we boost ourselves, too.

• Taking time to honor those who have come before you—an ancestor practice or honoring the natural world—is important. Spending time outdoors and connecting in some meaningful way with the past or with elders can be extremely grounding and stabilizing. Going for a walk, planting flowers, reading a biography, flipping through a family photo album, or even attending a reunion can be catalysts for connection, reconnection, and interdependence.

• Because nothing is permanent, don’t attach to anything…or anyone. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t care about anything or anybody; just be careful not to be grippy, clingy, or needy. This can be easier said than done; however, being aware of our triggers and tendencies can prevent us from getting snared in traps of our own making. Unhealthy attachments can be forms of manipulation, and they can also promote stagnation in relationships and resistance to what is.

• True friends will respect your boundaries. When you communicate clearly that something is not OK and does not feel safe for you, your friends will respect that. They won’t shame, blame, ignore, and gossip about you. When you set healthy boundaries, you will discover who your friends are…and who they aren’t. This is important information. When people show you who they are, believe them. Continue to cultivate friendships with those who value and respect you for who you are, and who encourage you to keep growing and improving.

• Exploration and travel expand our perspectives and broaden our understanding of others. They enrich us and cultivate compassion for others. They motivate us to take care of each other and our world. You don’t have to travel far to realize this—a visit to a neighboring state or country can have this effect. Let your fascination and curiosity guide you, and enjoy your journeys. Safe travels!

• Taking anything personally is a symptom of self-centered grasping. It is a way of making something that has nothing to do with us about us. Notice when this tendency arises for you and work toward letting go of this habit. Be gentle with yourself—this is not an easy one.

• Ethics! Ethics! Ethics! Choosing leaders, teachers, and friends who are kind, compassionate, and ethical is extremely important. Surrounding yourself with people who care about others and this planet will benefit you, others, and this planet. Encouraging others to be kind and compassionate by modeling kindness and compassion will have positive ripple effects as well. While writing this today, I heard of the passing of President Carter. He was 100 years old, and he was an ethical, compassionate humanitarian whose lifelong service to others benefitted many. May he rest in peace and power, and may his example motivate others to be of meaningful service as well.

• Pay attention to small, sensory details: The smell of vegetable soup simmering in a slow cooker on a kitchen counter. A plump squirrel nibbling on a bright red Honeycrisp in the yard. Luna, the neighbor’s white Labradoodle, barking in the distance. Shafts of sunlight reveal a thin layer of dust on a computer screen. Details add flavor, color, and texture to just about everything. Paying attention to them is an awareness practice—the art of noticing. What are you noticing? What captures your interest and attention? Specificity matters.

• “Fitting in is for sardines.” This is the last line of a John Roedel poem. It caught my eye, it made me laugh, and it made me wish I had heard it when I was in junior high school. It would have been extremely helpful wisdom for me at that time. Honestly, it’s just as useful now. Fitting in is overrated. Celebrate your individuality, and embrace your beautiful, quirky weirdness.

Taking the time to be present, to be quiet, and to reflect is an important daily practice, but it’s also beneficial to take a longer view and contemplate the wisdom gained over the course of a year…or a decade.

Imagine yourself as a bear hibernating in a warm, loamy den. What observations, insights, and nuggets of wisdom would you be kicking around in your restful state of torpor?

Take some time to rest, restore, and reflect as we wrap up 2024 and ease into whatever adventures wait for us in 2025.

Thank you for taking the time to read or listen to this month’s offering…and a special thanks for those who have read any of the previous ninety-nine.  I certainly appreciate you.

I continue to add new mala designs to the online shop, so be sure to check out the current catalogue of the one-of-a-kind Middle Moon Malas while you’re here.

I hope 2025 treats you well, and I hope your personal practices continue to benefit you and others in the New Year.

(Photo of tiny snowman courtesy of Unsplash)

Grief, Grace, Grit, and Gratitude: A Thanksgiving Reflection November 30, 2024 14:08

If you prefer to listen to this month's offering, please click HERE for the audio link.

GRIEF:

I don’t know about you, but the month of November has been a roller coaster for me. I’ve been dipping, diving, climbing, and spiraling through all the emotions this month.

The results of the recent election were devastating and heartbreaking for me. I was really hoping and hopeful for a different result—both for my state and country—but neither panned out. I am really terrified for my students and for the future of this country. We have made a horrible mistake, and we are heading in the wrong direction. There is so much more that I could say about this, but I’m going to leave it at that for now.

As a result, this devastating loss has brought raw emotions to the surface for me, and I find myself reacting much more strongly to other, unrelated situations.

For example, when I heard about the passing of 399, the famous mama Grizzly bear that Thomas Mangelsen has been following and photographing for nearly twenty years, I broke down and sobbed.

I have been grieving her loss for weeks now. Several months ago, I watched the PBS Nature documentary, 399: Queen of the Tetons. It was a beautiful film that chronicled the story of 399 and the work of Thomas Mangelsen.

Unfortunately, 399 was struck and killed by a vehicle in late October. I hope her most recent cub, Spirit, continues to thrive so that her legacy may live on.

One of the producers of the film, Elizabeth Leiter, said of 399: “She’s the wildest woman I’ve ever met.” 399 is the oldest known mother Grizzly in the Yellowstone and Grand Teton ecosystem. She was twenty-eight years old when she died; most Grizzlies only live between twenty to twenty-five years, and she has given birth to eighteen cubs, which is remarkable. 399 is the first resident bear of the Jackson Valley region in forty years, and her presence has helped to reoccupy and recover the Grizzly population, which is also significant.

399 represents strength, resilience, protection, and independence. An inspiration to us all and an ambassador of the wild world, she will certainly be missed. The death of this beautiful matriarch is a major loss, indeed.

 (This is not a photo of 399. It is a photo of a grizzly courtesy of Unsplash. Please visit Thomas Mangelsen's website for beautiful photos of 399 and her cubs)

GRACE:

Last weekend, my daughter invited me to attend the 100^th Anniversary Celebration of the Sigma Alpha Iota Indianapolis Alumnae Chapter. She joined this international musical fraternity when she attended ISU.

It was a lovely event held at an Episcopal church on the east side of Indianapolis. As part of the celebration, several members performed musical pieces during this event. A young soprano named Anna began with a beautiful Puccini aria: “O Mio Babbino Caro.”

The acoustics in this church were fantastic, and I did all I could do to hold in an ugly cry while she was singing. Her performance was so moving, but I could not stop the tears from streaming down my face.

Anna sang several pieces and was followed by a professional bassoonist who played a series of movements named after gemstones: “Smoky Quartz,” “Lapis Lazuli,” and “Tiger’s Eye.” Her performance was followed by an extraordinarily talented pianist.

All of these performances were moving and amazing!

Afterwards, we gathered in the lobby of the church to chat and enjoy cake and charcuterie.  Elise introduced me to several members of SAI. Everyone was so warm and friendly.

At one point, I chatted with a woman who happened to know my music teacher from junior high school. In the late 1970s, they had traveled to Europe together with a group of musicians who toured and performed in various cities in Germany, Austria, and Switzerland.

I remember my teacher, Miss Engel, talking about this trip, and it inspired the theme of our spring concert that year. We performed selections from The Sound of Music, and she projected slides from her travels during the concert.

Music has a wonderful way of bringing people together, and even though I was not a member of SAI, these women made me feel welcome.

Various scrapbooks and photos were displayed on a table along one wall. After glancing through the photos and article clippings and spending time with these wonderful ladies, it was very clear to me that all of the members who had participated over the years in this fraternity—all of those who had come before over the past century—they were right here with these present members now at this celebration.

I was honored to be a guest and to have a seat at the table with these very talented and warm-hearted women.

GRIT

One of the most important things that has helped me navigate the emotional loop-de-loops of this month is my personal meditation practice.

Daily practice has helped me remain rooted and grounded in the present moment.

I appreciate the online Dharma group associated with Sravasti Abbey that meets every morning, and I’m looking forward to the upcoming Retreat from Afar that will begin in January. If you’re interested in this, feel free to check out the Sravasti Abbey website for more information.

I also appreciate my personal Sadhana and recitation practices that I make time for every day as well as the Sunday Dharma talks in Bloomington.

Diving deeply into daily practice keeps me steady and stable in the now—it keeps the fears and anxieties at bay, and it helps me to take care of myself—to renew, to regulate, and to regenerate so that I can be of benefit to others.

GRATITUDE

Despite all the chaos and disappointments that this month has brought, I was grateful to celebrate Thanksgiving with family.

Jim is recovering from a really bad cold, and I’m glad that he’s finally feeling better. Elise and Christopher had another family gathering to attend in the afternoon, so we decided to host a Thanksgiving breakfast this year.

I had made corn muffins, cranberry sauce, and a savory Native American salad the night before. Elise and Christopher brought sweet rolls, Jim cooked bacon and sausage, and I made a quiche on Thanksgiving morning.

It was so nice to start the day with family and a delicious meal.

Taking time to reflect on what’s going smoothly—and who makes you happy is an important practice, too. It’s just as important as reciting mantra and counting beads on a mala.

Acknowledging blessings and the people you hold dear help us to navigate through the difficult times.

The beads on a mala represent the beautiful aspects of life—a safe home, caring loved ones, delicious food.

The knots represent the obstacles and challenges—worries, fears, and loss.

However, a meaningful life includes a balance of BOTH—and accepting everything that comes our way, navigating the ups and downs with an open mind and compassionate heart, allowing us to cultivate wisdom and appreciating the everyday joys that surround us.

I’m also extremely grateful for all of you who take the time to read or listen to these monthly musings.

I hope you are happy and well, and I hope your practice is helping you to navigate the obstacles and to appreciate the joys of your own lives.

Blessings to all of you!

Be sure to check out the MMM website. I have added a few additional designs, and plan to add even more in the coming weeks. Also, I don’t typically add quarter malas to the online shop, but if you’re interested in a design that I’ve posted on IG or FB, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I am happy to create custom designs (quarter malas or full malas) as well.

Reunions and Reconnections: Opportunities for Growth, Renewal, and Progress October 31, 2024 14:54

If you prefer to listen to this month's offering, please click HERE for the audio link.

“Cultivating a kind mind is the best and most important thing we can ever do. It is the most precious endeavor we can dedicate ourselves to.”

Jim and I met in high school back in the 80s. We were in the same geometry class, and we also had orchestra together. We married a few years after graduating from high school, and we have been together for thirty-eight years.

Earlier this month, we attended our 40^th high school reunion in Indianapolis. The venue was a riverside patio bar. Inside, strands of icicle lights lined the walls, a banner with “Cheers for 40 Years” surrounded by black and gold balloons decorated the back wall, and a DJ played 80s tunes from a laptop: “Crazy for You,” “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go,” “I’m on Fire,” “Smooth Operator,” “Footloose.”

We purchased our tickets, donned our nametags, and wandered around the room chatting with some friends, some strangers, but all former graduates of Warren Central. I remembered some people from elementary school, some from junior high, and some from high school. When people made eye contact and space for us in their circles, we happily joined their conversations.

***

“If we only think of ourselves, we become easily angered, and our activities will be fraught with problems and obstacles.”

The only other reunion that Jim and I attended prior to this one was our 10^th reunion. It was a two-day affair that included a dinner at a hotel, where the highlight of the evening was when Harry the janitor showed up…in his custodian uniform. The following day, a luncheon was held on the grounds of the local Knights of Columbus. It was late spring, and we all sat on our own blankets on the grass and ate our own homemade lunches that we brought with us. We didn’t really mingle or chat much at this previous event. Not enough time had passed, and we still hadn’t quite figured out who we were or where we were going just yet.

***

This reunion, however, was different…in large part…because we were different. Many of us were or had been cultivating careers as business owners, educators, musicians, accountants, engineers, veterans, skilled tradespeople, stay-at-home moms, and government employees.

Whether we were married or not, whether we had children (or grandchildren) or not, no matter what paths we had fallen into or chosen, we were all older, wiser, and open to listening to and celebrating with one another.

I had wonderful conversations with people I never knew in high school. I also had conversations with people who were in the same kindergarten class as me.

I enjoyed asking them questions—and I enjoyed listening to their answers and stories that followed.

***

“If we practice like this, when death arrives, there will be no regrets, and we will be happy with the life we lived.”

One wall of the enclosed patio bar was dedicated to those in our graduating class who had died. Their names and pictures were tributes and reminders of how fragile and impermanent we really are.

One of the names on the wall was particularly significant for me. He had been my protector and shield against daily bullying that I had experienced on the bus when I was in ninth and tenth grades. He didn’t know this at the time; at least, I don’t think he did.

His name was Shannon, and he lived in the apartment complex just down the street from the apartments where my family lived. His stop was before mine, so he was already on the bus when I boarded, followed by the half-dozen bullies who harassed me every day on the way to school.

Shannon was a quiet guy, and a tough guy who no one messed with. He wore a faded denim jacket, a leather wallet on a long chain, and black boots. I quickly learned that if I sat next to him on the bus, the bullies left me alone.

I never spoke to him, and he never talked to me…but I was grateful for his presence, and I was grateful that he shared his seat with me on the bus.

I was sorry to learn that he had passed away. I would have loved to have shared that story with him in person.

***

“By putting effort into developing a kind mind and placing our hopes and trust in this practice, we will see results both in the short term and in the long term.”

What made this reunion such a success is that Jim and I didn’t have any expectations or preconceived notions. In fact, we happened to hear about this event at the last minute and by total happenstance.

We didn’t know who would attend—we were open to chatting with those who were present—and we were far more interested in being present and listening to others talk about their lives than talking about our own.

This reunion also made me realize how important my own meditation practice is and has been over the years. Taking time each day to sit quietly, to recite mantra, and to calm my mind has helped me find my way and grow.

 According to Buddhist teachings, our minds carry all the imprints and tendencies accumulated throughout our lives, and this is what carries on into future lives. Developing a kind, compassionate mind matters much more than accumulating wealth or accomplishments.

Developing a kind mind happens slowly over time. They call it a practice for a reason. We cultivate our minds in the small, everyday encounters with others—whether we are taking notes in high school geometry class or having a conversation with a research scientist in a dimly lit patio bar.

When my Tibetan friends refer to “mind,” they point to their chests, where their hearts reside. To them, “mind” is not physiological or neurological in nature, and it’s not confined to the creases and folds of the human brain. Mind is much bigger than that.

***

Reunions are opportunities to check up on our own progress and to connect and reconnect with others in a brief, but meaningful way.

This event also made me grateful to have shared so much of my life with my husband, Jim. Together, we have cultivated a meaningful life and have learned and experienced a great deal over the years.  I hope we can share many more years together and continue to learn and grow.

 I know I’m certainly in a better place than I was when I was in high school.  I’m more secure and confident about who I am. I’m much less concerned about what others think of me, and I’m more curious and open to talking with others. It is this genuine curiosity that fosters compassion, joy, and empathy, and focusing on others truly is the root of happiness.

***

I hope this last day of October treats you well, and I hope November has promising opportunities and benefits to offer. I am currently preparing for Wellbeing Fest, which is coming up on November 10^th in Fishers, IN. If you haven’t visited the Middle Moon Malas online collection in a while, I’ve added some new mala designs. Be sure to check that out while you’re here.

Quote Note:

All of the italicized quotations in this article are attributed to Khandro Kunga Bhuma Rinpoche, a highly regarded Tibetan Buddhist teacher, state oracle, and realized practitioner who assists the Fourteenth Dalai Lama in promoting world peace and interreligious harmony.

Improvising and Meditation: Every Change Is Part of the Practice October 2, 2024 12:31

If you prefer to listen to this month's blog offering, please click HERE for the audio link.

We are taught early on to fear and hide our mistakes. The antidote, according to Stephen Nachmanovitch, is finger kissing.

“Finger Kissing” was one of my favorite chapters from Nachmanovitch’s The Art of Is: Improvising as a Way of Life. I love the idea behind this action.

Finger kissing is an act of grace—gratitude—appreciation for the self. It’s an act of anti-judgment—of self-love and self-acceptance—of generosity.

Its playful—it’s intimate—it’s endearing. It’s an act of self-forgiveness—it’s encouraging—and it’s light-hearted.

It’s also a reminder not to take ourselves too seriously—and not to be too hard on ourselves. After all, we are all doing the best we can in this moment. Besides, perfection is never the goal, and as Winston Churchill famously stated, “perfection is the enemy of progress.”

The practice of finger kissing is about being present and mindful. It’s about taking time to listen intently to what’s happening around us and within us.

***

This morning, I stepped outside to make morning offerings. I had a stick of lit incense in my hands along with a cup of birdseed and two small apples.

I slipped into shoes and stepped out into the cool morning darkness. It had rained the night before. The ground was soft, and the sounds of crickets guided me to the Buddha statue in the yard.

As I recited the morning prayer and arranged the offerings, I looked up and saw a bright, gibbous moon framed in cypress branches. I took a moment to take it all in—the moonlight—the branches—the smell of fresh rain—the symphony of crickets—the cool morning air—the offerings.

Finger kissing is like that, too. It’s an act of appreciating what we have in the moment and taking a moment to take it all in. It’s also an act of nourishing ourselves.

I conclude each morning offering session with a brief dedication prayer. Honestly, after reading this chapter, I think I’d like to add finger kissing after the dedication to seal the practice with gratitude, mindfulness, and joy. 

***

Later in the day, I had a few minutes between student tutoring sessions, so I walked around the track behind our school.

The sky was overcast and cloudy, and I felt the cool air against my skin. Rain was coming, but not yet. I had enough time to walk a few laps.

Our school is not far from the airport, and every few minutes a plane would fly overhead. Each time, I’d pause, look up, and wave. I wished everyone on board a safe trip. My hope was that someone looking out one of the small windows would return the wave.

I heard the sounds of speeding cars and trucks on I-465. I watched a half dozen killdeer hopping around and feeding in the grassy field that I was circumambulating. I spied a bright yellow feather clinging to the faded pavement, and I felt a deep appreciation for this moment.

***

On September 17, Stephen Nachmanovitch, writer, musician, philosopher, and improviser, visited Butler University for a lecture and performance.

I first heard about his work from my Feldenkrais friend, Tiffany Sankary. She frequently referenced his book, The Art of Is during her online classes, which motivated me to read his book.

According to Nachmanovitch, “Improvising means coming prepared, but not being attached to the preparation.”

It made me think of the many years of teaching English full-time in a public-school setting. I would spend hours creating meaningful, relevant lesson plans for my students, knowing full-well that they would not occur as planned. However, I also knew that if I didn’t prepare, the results would be confusing and disastrous.

Interruptions and changes are inevitable. Questions will arise. Being prepared is essential, and being willing to pivot and go with the flow at a moment’s notice are critical skills for teaching and learning.

According to Nachmanovitch, improvising is about “paying exquisite attention” and how “nothing can spoil your concentration if every change that comes is part of the practice.”

During his lecture at Butler, he admitted that he didn’t plan ahead of time what he would talk about that evening. He relied on his previous experiences, education, and training to guide him. He paid close attention to audience members. He encouraged us to ask questions, and he let our questions guide him.

The same was true for his improvised musical performance. He played an electric violin, but didn’t rely on sheet music. Instead, he relied on intuition and mindfulness. His performance was experimental, playful, immediate, and authentic. He wasn’t attached to the outcome, and he wasn’t fixated on playing every note perfectly.

Instead, he was listening intently, responding intuitively and musically. We were engaged in a collective conversation.

At the end of the performance, he invited several Butler dance students to join him on the stage. (He had been working with dance students in workshops on campus earlier in the week). As he played his electric violin, dancers moved about the stage. The improvised conversation continued as all participants listened, responded, and reacted to one another. Each contributed to the conversation without worrying about being “right” or “perfect.”

They discovered form and grace from thin air. His music framed the silence; their movements framed the stillness.

***

Improvising is a form of meditation—or—meditation is an act of improvising.

Both involve becoming comfortable with constant change. Both are also meaningful and necessary practices that are impossible to assess or evaluate.

I hope you take a little time today to practice meditation and improvising—whether that involves sitting quietly on a cushion, reciting mantra with a mala, walking around your neighborhood, or dancing in your kitchen as you listen to music.

May you take time to listen attentively today and notice whatever is going on around you.

May you be curious and playful. May you respond with confidence, compassion, wisdom, and grace.

And afterwards, may you offer a sincere dedication… and kiss each of your fingers.

***

Thanks for reading or listening to this month’s offering. Please visit the current Middle Moon Malas collection of hand-knotted malas. Each design was created to inspire and support your personal practice. For custom design inquiries, please send me a message through the Contact Us Page.

Mudita: A Joyful Practice August 25, 2024 17:14

 If you prefer to listen to this month's offering, please click HERE for the audio link.

I recently watched a video of a friend of mine jumping out of an airplane for a tandem sky dive. It was something she has always wanted to do—it ranked #3 on her Bucket List. The small GoPro camera was focused on her face. I could hear high winds whipping and the sounds of her jubilant screams as she descended from the sky to earth.

At one point, she looked into the camera directly, smiled, and made the peace sign with her right hand. Variegated layers of blue sky surrounded her along with the flash of sunlight in the background.

The video ended shortly after her tandem master pulled the rip cord, and a bright yellow parachute gently supported their descent to the earth.

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Last week, my daughter and son-in-law, along with a couple of their friends, attended the Bristol Renaissance Faire in Kenosha, Wisconsin. They had a great time. Dressed as wenches and pirates, they wandered among others dressed as faeries, gnomes, wizards, peasants, and jesters.

They attended a jousting tournament, consumed fried turkey legs and mead, and watched performances with fire eaters, jugglers, and magicians.

They had a blast visiting the past.

***

On Saturday, my husband and his friend, Bruce, traveled to an archery tournament near Louisville. They, along with over 100 other archers from all over the country, spent the day wandering the course and taking aim at 3-D targets. It was an especially hot day, but they enjoyed their time and friendly competition.

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Recently, friends of mine shared photos of their trip to Paris during the 2024 Olympic games. They wandered down the Champs-Élysées, and immersed themselves in the sights and sounds of this magnificent city. They visited the Louvre Museum, the Eiffel Tower, and l’Arc de Triomphe. They were also able to attend a few Olympic events (gymnastics, beach volleyball, cycling, and swimming). Both had visited Paris before, but the city was especially vibrant and bustling with visitors from all over the world. This adventure was truly the trip of a lifetime for them.

***

Rejoicing for others is an important aspect of Buddhist practice. Mudita, which means sympathetic joy or vicarious joy, is a Sanskrit and Pali term. Mudita is the ability to experience altruistic and appreciative joy, to genuinely celebrate the happiness of others.

Rejoicing for others is a deep and meaningful practice. Depending upon the circumstances, and the people involved, sometimes mudita is easy to practice. Other times, it can be more challenging and difficult.

*

It was easy for me to be happy for my friend, Rosi. She is an adventurer at heart, so I was not surprised at all to see her jumping out of a plane at 6,000 ft. I was truly happy for her as I watched her video. I was grateful that she and her tandem master landed safely, and I could rejoice and celebrate her act of bravery and courage.

I did not feel the tug, however, of longing to jump out of a plane myself, which made experiencing vicarious joy for my friend an easy task.

*

The same goes for my daughter’s adventures. Elise has attended this Ren Faire several times with her friend, Sarah. While I enjoy seeing her photos and hearing about the events and characters she encounters, I don’t feel the need to participate in Medieval cosplay. However, I am happy to rejoice from afar…Merrily!

*

My husband loves archery—and he has ever since I’ve known him. He makes time to practice every day, and he is constantly tinkering with and adjusting his bow to improve his performance. I was happy that he and Bruce could attend this tournament, and I’m glad they enjoyed their trip.

Again, rejoicing was easy-peasy. Besides, it was nice to have the house to myself on a Saturday.

*

I’m not going to lie; I was a little jealous of my friends in Paris. I was happy for them, but I also had that tug of longing in my belly, and I could feel just a slight sting of envy as I watched their videos and scrolled through the photos they shared.

However, I was also grateful to be able to enjoy coverage of the Olympic games from the comfort of my own home. This eased the sting quite a bit.

*

I had fallen into an unexpected mudita practice over the course of this month, and these examples were just the beginning. A much bigger challenge, however, was waiting for me.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama has been staying in the U.S. for a couple of months for a knee-replacement surgery and follow-up rehab. On Thursday, August 22, a huge crowd gathered at the UBS arena in Elmont, NY, for a long-life prayer ceremony in his honor.

Several monastics associated with TMBCC in Bloomington attended this ceremony along with a few of my Dharma friends. I wanted to attend, too. I really wanted to go, but I had other obligations.

Because it was a last-minute trip, I would have had to scramble to prepare for it. It also would have been very inconvenient for my family and my students.

I was happy for my monk friends who shared the stage with HHDL and who chanted the long-life prayers honoring him. I was also happy that this huge arena was filled with thousands of people who traveled long distances to honor and support HHDL before he returned back to Dharamshala. I was also happy for my Dharma friends who were able to make the trip to NY.

*

I thought about the commitments and responsibilities that prevented me from going. I thought about the students who I helped during the week. I thought about the essays they shared with me, and the feedback that I was able to offer them before they were due.

I thought about the emails and phone calls I made during the week, and how some of those connections were essential for advocating and supporting a new faculty member in the English department.

I thought about the quiet time I had in the mornings for personal practice. I thought about the time and energy I had to take care of my home and prepare nourishing meals for Jim and me during the week.

I thought about all the amazing, joyful speeches that I was able to hear on the televised coverage of the Democratic National Convention that was held in Chicago.

I thought about the two health-related appointments that were necessary for my own self-care.

Upon reflection, it was clear that I needed to be at home. My karma required that I stay put. Besides, I was able to enjoy photos and videos that my friends shared. I was also able to watch a full-length video of the ceremony on YouTube. So, really, I didn’t miss out after all.

***

In Cindy Rasicot’s biography This Fresh Existence: Heart Teachings from Bhikkhuni Dhammananda, Venerable Dhammananda, who was the first woman fully ordained in the Thai Theravada Buddhist tradition, and who is a wonderful Dharma teacher, refers to mudita as “a deep practice of overcoming oneself.”

This practice also involves acknowledging, accepting, and celebrating the successes and achievements of others. For many, this practice is a new way of thinking and moving through the world.

Venerable Dhammananda explains, “When you hear of other people’s good news, practice feeling happy for them.”

She encourages others to do the best they can without getting bogged down with the results of their efforts. If we continue to do good work, the results will naturally occur.

According to Venerable, “The good karma you perform is never lost. You will reap the reward at some point.”

Once we realize this, we can relax and soften. We don’t feel compelled to chase after enlightenment. I realized that my desire to go to New York was just that—wanting to chase after and force an enlightening experience, rather than allowing it to naturally grow organically.

*

We can’t experience everything in this one precious human life. We have choices to make, priorities to assign. That’s why mudita is so important and beneficial. Genuinely celebrating the accomplishments, opportunities, and achievements of others helps to add meaning and purpose to our lives, too.

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Thank you for taking the time to read or listen to this month’s offering. I hope you will seek and cultivate many examples and opportunities for practicing mudita in your own life.

If you haven’t had a chance to visit the current Middle Moon Malas online collection, please take a few minutes to do so before you leave this page. I’ve added several new designs recently. Also, if you are interested in a custom mala or quarter mala, please send me a message via the Contact Us page. I’d be happy to create a mala design that supports and inspires your own practice.