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Tonglen for One: A Simple Practice of Self Compassion May 31, 2026 09:05
It’s been raining for several days in Indiana. Lakes and ponds have risen, drainage ditches are swollen with water, spilling over onto streets and pooling in yards.
Earlier this week, as I was driving to school, rain poured down. My windshield kept fogging up, and the wiper blades could barely keep up with the pace of the pelting rain. Cars sped by me on the interstate, spraying even more water onto the car as we headed into a sea of blurry red brake lights.
I was anxious about arriving safely to school, and I was worried about the safety of others.
***
One of the steps in cultivating bodhicitta, or, the altruistic mind, is through the practice of tonglen, the taking and giving meditation.
Tonglen is considered to be an advanced practice, and it typically involves taking in the suffering of others and giving others what they need to be free from suffering.
I recently discovered, however, that the tonglen practice can be modified to focus on one’s own personal suffering. In Kathleen McDonald’s book, How to Meditate on the Stages of the Path: A Guide to the Lam Rim, McDonald (who is a monastic at Sravasti Abbey, Ven. Sangye Khadro—she published this book by her birth name) describes a variation on a theme of this practice.
The idea of taking on the suffering of others can seem overwhelming and even scary to some, which is one of the reasons why tonglen is an advanced practice.
However, in order to cultivate compassion for others, one must begin with oneself.
***
When I practiced this meditation on my own, I simplified McDonald’s instructions even further, and I’ve outlined the steps below:
*Find a quiet place to practice in a comfortable seated posture.
*Take a few moments to calm the mind by doing a brief body scan—relaxing any tension in the body from head to toe.
*Think about one specific problem that you are currently grappling with. Choose something relatively small to start with (ex. lost glasses or keys, dealing with a difficult neighbor or colleague, a leaky roof).
*Close your eyes and imagine at your heart center there is a small rock (I like to picture a rock slightly smaller than my fist). This rock represents your self-centered mind or attitude. It’s that needy-baby, greedy-baby mindset that we all grapple with.
*Next, imagine this current problem becomes a thick cloud of dark smoke, and as you take your next inhalation, you take in this dark smoky problem into your body.
*When this smoke comes into contact with the self-centered rock at your heart center, imagine a bolt of lighting striking it, obliterating the rock to dust and transforming the black smoke into a bright golden light.
*Take a moment to let this golden light fill your body, saturating every cell, and bringing you exactly what you need to resolve this problem.
*On your next exhalation, imagine sending this golden light out into the world, helping others who may be experiencing this same problem.
*After a few rounds of breathing in the smoke of this problem, dissolving it with golden light, and exhaling light to benefit others, open your eyes and sit calmly to contemplate your experience.
***
This practice is not meant to occur while you’re in the middle of experiencing the problem, or while you’re driving.
For example, while I was driving around I-465 in the middle of a torrential downpour, I was not closing my eyes and imagining breathing in black smoke and exhaling golden light. That would have created even more serious problems 😊.
I was grateful that the storms had eventually passed, and I was able to walk around the track for a few laps in the early afternoon. Walking helped me to process and release the anxiety of the morning drive. I even stopped to take a photo of this enormous weed that was busting through the pavement like a rebellious bouquet of flowers.
In addition, at the end of the school day, when I was back home, safe and sound, I had time for supplemental self-care practices.
I made time for a Feldenkrais lesson, which was a great way to tune in and be aware of how I was feeling in my body, and practicing tonglen for my own suffering helped me to find steadiness and calm my mind.
***
Tonglen for one is a practice that can offer inspiration and courage to help us navigate and manage obstacles and problems. Over time, practicing this technique with small problems can encourage us to try tonglen with bigger problems, or practicing it on behalf of others’ suffering.
We are not alone. We are part of a vast, interconnected community, and the more we cultivate compassion, kindness, and bodhicitta for ourselves and others, the happier we will be.
***
Thank you for taking the time to read this month’s blog offering. I hope the month of June brings you much joy and meaningful opportunities to practice.
Please visit the current MMM collection, and feel free to reach out if you are interested in a custom mala or quarter mala design.
Field Trips: Navigating Welcome and Unwelcome Disruptions April 30, 2026 13:16
On Tuesday morning, the majority of our student body at our high school hopped on a fleet of school buses and headed downtown to the Indiana Repertory Theatre to see the musical Come From Away.
This musical takes place in a small town in Newfoundland. On September 11, 2001, several planes that were flying to the U.S. were diverted and grounded at the Gander airport because of the terrorist attacks.
Come From Away focused on the people of this town and those who were stranded there over the course of several days.
What I liked about this performance is it didn’t focus on planes crashing into the Twin Towers, or the turmoil and trauma that ensued. Instead, it focused on ordinary people living their ordinary lives until an unexpected disruption encouraged everyone to pivot and come to the aid of thousands of strangers.
Citizens of Gander took these stranded passengers into their homes. They shared their food and clothing; they gave them warm places to shower, sleep, and take shelter from the fear and uncertainty of this devastating disruption.
Strangers helped strangers, and the common denominators for navigating this situation were connection, interconnection, kindness, and compassion.
The actors and musicians in this production were incredible, and our students thoroughly enjoyed this performance. I was very grateful we were able to experience it together.
***
Field trips are welcome disruptions. Successful ones require careful planning, and this trip was definitely a success. It was an organized, well-choreographed learning opportunity that involved permission slips, ticket sales, calls to the Ed Center and Transportation department. It required the help of bus drivers, cafeteria staff, administrators, teachers, substitutes, chaperones, and, of course, students. Many hearts and hands worked together to make this adventure possible, and it took time, effort, and careful planning. At the core of all of this, what made this trip a success is interdependence.
Ironically, all this planning for a welcome disruption took us to a production (that was also carefully planned, organized, and choreographed) that focused on an unexpected disruption, the 9/11 attacks, which led to a series of even more unexpected disruptions.
Ah, samsara! Samsara, or cyclic existence, is all about navigating all kinds of disruptions—whether they are planned, unplanned—big or small—positive, negative, or neutral—we are constantly pivoting, adapting, and transforming to accommodate constant change.
***
Thankfully, we returned to school safely in the early afternoon. The cafeteria staff hustled to feed 300 hungry students in three, tightly-staggered lunch shifts.
Our students found this musical riveting and powerful; many were curious about 9/11 as this tragedy occurred before they were born. Some asked their teachers about what they remembered about this day—where they were and what they were doing.
I told a student about my own experience. I had been teaching full-time at Ben Davis H.S., and we were I-STEP testing on that day. I had proctored the first session of tests; another teacher came to my room so that I could deliver the test booklets to the office.
When I walked into the Guidance Office, several teachers and counselors were gathered around a large television strapped to a cart. The first plane had crashed into the North Tower, and we all watched in silence as smoke billowed from the building. It was a surreal experience.
I walked back to my classroom with a huge knot in my throat. I knew something horrible had happened, and my students had no idea…yet. I remember looking at them and knowing that things would change dramatically for all of us on that day. We were instructed not to say anything yet. Our principal would make an announcement shortly afterwards.
I also remember students begging me to turn on the Dukane projector after his announcement (at that time, we had schoolwide access to some television channels via internet). They wanted to watch—and I declined. I told them that is all that they would see on television later on and for many days to come, and I didn’t want to bring it into the classroom. They were mad at me, but looking back, I’m glad I didn’t play news coverage at that time. That would have been a disturbing, traumatic, anxiety-producing disruption that I was not ready, or willing, to expose my students to.
We talked about it, wrote about it, and processed it in the coming days and weeks, but I didn’t want to inundate them with tragic news in real time. Besides, high-stakes state testing followed by tragic national news—that’s not a good combination!
***
Successfully dealing with disruptions requires a willingness to let go of expectations and an aspiration to focus on benefiting others. Having a minute to take a breath and pausing before taking action can be helpful, too.
May you pivot, adjust, adapt, and transform with skill and grace today—and in the coming days and weeks. May you treat others with compassion, kindness, and patience as we all deal with whatever disruptions come our way.
***
Thank you for taking the time to read this month’s blog offering. If you’re in the Indianapolis area and can catch a performance of Come From Away, I highly recommend it. The show runs until May 10th at Indiana Repertory Theatre.
I’ve also added a few new mala designs to the online shop. Mother’s Day is coming soon, too, and malas make thoughtful gifts for mamas who meditate. Meditation is also a wonderful way of dealing with disruptions, by the way.
Take care,
T
Spiritual Confidence: The Key to Transformation March 31, 2026 13:06
“The key to unshakeable self-confidence is recognizing the deepest truth of who you are.”
Lama Döndrup Drolma
Earlier this month, I celebrated a milestone birthday, and I’ve spent some time reflecting on how I’ve grown and changed over the decades.
I’m a Fire Horse, and this Lunar New Year, the Fire Horse has returned. According to an online astrology website, Fire Horses tend to have intense energy, and they are independent, loyal, protective, witty, impatient, strong-willed, restless, and courageous.
While some of these traits resonate with me, they certainly explain some things.
I remember as a kid feeling very adventurous. Most adults, especially controlling and authoritative ones, didn’t like me very much, my parents, included. They didn’t appreciate my open willingness to express my thoughts. I was fearless, I was brave, and I was confident, and babysitters, teachers, and especially my stepfather, did not appreciate my bold, strong-willed nature.
Instead of redirecting these early inclinations or teaching me to harness these traits, my stepfather clamped down hard. He was overly harsh, demanding, and punitive with me. I was not his biological child, and he treated me very differently from his own daughter. He broke my spirit with his constant demands, rules, mockery, and judgments, and that bold, confident little girl soon became a fearful, acquiescent people pleaser.
Since then, I haven’t had the greatest luck with high-control, authoritarian people. I dealt with several Type-A principals over the course of my teaching career when I was teaching full-time. I felt uneasy in their presence, and I felt confined, ignored, irrelevant, and misunderstood under their leadership, but it was in the best interest for me and my family to comply and “play nice” if I wanted to stay employed.
***
In recent years, things have changed and shifted for the better. That bold, playful, and resourceful spirit that had been silenced and suppressed has found her voice again, thanks in large part to meditation.
I recently read a Lion’s Roar article, “Be Confident in Your Buddhanature,” by Lama Döndrup Drolma. This article explained how specific Buddhist practices can cultivate and develop genuine self-confidence.
Wisdom, clarity, and compassion are the qualities of our true nature, our Buddhanature, if you will, and they are the essence of spiritual confidence. This confidence isn’t determined by external circumstances or ego. It isn’t something to be earned or achieved, and it doesn’t cling to praise and pleasure or avoid shame, blame, and pain. These are fleeting experiences. Instead, this genuine confidence, or Buddhanature, is always present.
Buddhanature begins to shine when we cultivate compassion for others and develop awareness and insight through meditation practices. Meditation fosters awareness, openness, steadiness, and clarity.
We catch glimpses of this awareness from time to time, and the more we meditate and rest in this effortless awareness, the more we develop wisdom, compassion, kindness, and patience for ourselves and others.
In other words, genuine confidence isn’t something outside of ourselves, and it doesn’t rely on others; it’s who we really are.
Trusting in this awareness, this natural confidence allows us to face challenging times with clarity, calm, and determination while still being able to remain kind and open with others.
Recognizing this confidence is the key to our transformation, and it empowers us to live authentic lives.
Buddhanature is vast and clear—and it allows us to trust in our true nature and no longer need to prove our worth through external accomplishments and achievements.
***
The confidence I felt as a kid was fragile and unstable, and it was easily fractured by the disapproval and demands of others. This is ordinary pride, and it is rooted in arrogance and self-centeredness.
It has taken a long time, and the progress has been very subtle and gradual, but daily meditation practice has helped me cultivate a more genuine, authentic confidence.
I’m able to catch glimpses of it more frequently, and it motivates me to think of others more and to take more thoughtful action.
One example of this occurred during the recent No Kings rally on Saturday, March 28. My family and I stood in the grassy area near the library with our signs along with 500 other protesters.
We stood together as a community, in solidarity, speaking out against an unjust war in Iran, against unspeakable cruelty, against ICE, against detention centers, against incompetent, selfish leadership, against rising costs of groceries, gas, healthcare, and utilities, against lies and corruption, against the Epstein Files, and against the overall and constant chaos this administration has unleased.
We stood together—for a variety of reasons—united. I live in a small, conservative community. Often, I feel like a political oddball in this community, but it was encouraging, empowering, and refreshing to stand together with so many people for a common cause.
My husband and I joked on the way there that we’d only see ten people at this rally, but when we turned the corner and saw hundreds of people chanting slogans and carrying signs, we were pleasantly surprised and encouraged.
The crowd was joyful—we chatted between chants. Organizers passed out flyers and buttons. Political candidates spoke with potential constituents. A group of kids blew bubbles into the clear blue sky from the far edge of the field. Several people even brought their dogs with them (we saw a Great Dane, a Pitbull, a Collie, and a cha-cha-cha Chihuahua😊).
***
Spiritual confidence allows us to stay calm and grounded in the face of confusion and chaos. It allows us to face uncertainty with grace, dignity, compassion, and steadiness.
Our true nature is vast and luminous. It doesn’t cling or grasp, and it is not diminished by judgement or external circumstances. Instead, genuine confidence, or Buddhanature, grounds us in skillful, compassionate action, it liberates us from doubt, it broadens our awareness, and it allows us to rest in the realization of meaningful practice.
***
Thank you for taking the time to read this month’s blog offering. I hope the upcoming spring months treat you well, and I hope that you will continue to cultivate your own Buddhanature through your meditation practice.
I have added a few new mala designs to the online shop. While you’re here, please have a look at the current collection.
Take care--
Believe and Receive: Finding Joy amidst Uncertainty and Chaos February 28, 2026 19:56
“All winter you carved water jars out of ice. How well they hold the summer snowmelt.”
Coleman Barks “A Deep Nobility”
Recently, a friend of mine shared a post about the passing of poet, scholar, and translator, Coleman Barks. He died on Monday while I was at school asking students about their annotated bibliographies for their upcoming argument essays and how they were progressing on their Civil Rights Leader presentations.
I heard Coleman Barks read poetry at Butler University in 2001. He read his translations of Rumi poems and some of his own poetry in Atherton Hall. I remember waiting in line for him to sign my copy of his book.
I was sorry to hear of his passing, and I spent time this morning reading his poems aloud while Maya, our teacup Yorkie, snored softly from the couch.
***
My mantra this month has been “Believe and Receive.” It has sustained me through an unexpected health scare and moments of breathtaking uncertainty. It has also elevated my spirits, allowing me to appreciate moments of joy.
“We have been secretly fed from beyond time and space. That’s why we look for something more than this.”
Coleman Barks “Fringe”
On February 13, I was standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes. My husband, Jim, was dressed for work. He sat on a kitchen chair, suddenly out of breath—like he had just run a marathon. Jim is healthy, and has no history of serious health problems.
He had taken some cold medicine a few minutes before, and I Googled possible side effects of the medication. Shortness of breath was listed as a possible side effect.
I took him to the hospital. We were convinced that this was simply a reaction to the cold medication. We spent several hours in the ER, and after necessary bloodwork and a CAT scan, we discovered that he had blood clots in his lungs and was admitted to a private room.
In the past few years, he had occasional superficial blood clots in his leg, but this was far more serious.
Jim and I spent Valentine’s Day in the hospital. Heart-shaped balloons floated near the television where Olympic speed skaters were racing around an icy track. Fortunately, blood thinners did the trick, and he did not require surgery. We were able to return home later in the afternoon.
Believe….. Receive….
I thought about these two words quite frequently while we were at the hospital
while a young child in a nearby room coughed and coughed
while machines beeped and vital numbers flashed in pale green lights
while technicians took ultrasound images of his heart, lungs, and leg, tracking the path of veins and arteries
while nurses monitored IV bags full of medication
while downhill skiers flew down mountains and soared into vast, open, snowy skies, suspended in space before touching down unharmed.
Inhale….Believe….
Exhale…Receive…
Jim received excellent care from everyone we encountered: doctors, nurses, technicians, volunteers, security guards. Everyone was kind, attentive, and helpful. I’m glad we were able to go home—and I’m grateful that he’s feeling better now.
***
“Sweet fruit hides in leaves…Nonexistence contains existence. Love encloses beauty. Brown flint and gray steel have orange candlelight in them. Inside fear, safety.”
Coleman Barks “Paradox”
“It is an honor and a joy to meet you. Thank you for all your hard work and efforts—and for your team. You truly care about this country…and about other people…and we desperately need intelligent, competent leaders like you.”
Kamala Harris shook my hand, looked me in the eye, and smiled as I said these words to her.
My daughter and I waited in line for two hours to meet the former Vice President before her talk at Old National Center in Indianapolis.
She was kind, attentive, gracious, and she offered us a message of hope. “We still have work to do. Don’t give up.”
I read her book, 107 Days, a few months ago. It wasn’t an easy book to read—parts of it were emotionally draining for me. The book described her perspective of each day of her presidential campaign. It outlined the Herculean effort and work that she and her team did in such a short period of time.
It was difficult to read because I already knew the outcome, and I realized that this country would be profoundly better off today if she had been elected President.
It truly was a joy to meet her, both for me and Elise, and, I’m sure, the other 200 people who were in line with us.
2,500 people, a full-capacity crowd, stood up and cheered for her when she stepped onto the stage. It felt good to be among a group of so many enthusiastic, supportive people.
Believe…and Receive…
Dr. Jessica Knurick was the moderator for this event. She asked Kamala Harris questions regarding her book as well as the current state of the nation. She also asked her a few questions from the audience, too.
One question, posed by a ten-year-old girl named Cindy, focused on bravery. Cindy is a swimmer and feels brave during competitions, but she doesn’t feel brave when speaking in front of a group or sharing her opinions. She wanted the Vice President’s advice about how to be brave.
Kamala Harris asked us to applaud Cindy’s question—and we did so, willingly. She told her to remember that applause the next time she has to speak her mind or speak in front of a group, and to know that there are people who support and love her.
She was directing her response to Cindy—but she was speaking to all of us, too. All of Kamala Harris’s answers to questions were thoughtful, honest, and sincere. She was confident, poised, and relaxed throughout this event.
***
We’ve endured over a year of chaos and uncertainty, and more chaos and uncertainty await with today’s news of the brutal and unconstitutional strike on Iran.
But on Thursday night—it was about joy:
receiving joy
receiving hope
receiving inspiration
receiving community
receiving kindness
receiving compassion
Believe…and Receive…
“as song begins, as the glass
fills, wind rising, a roomful
of conversation, a sanctuary
of prostration, a bird lights
on my hand in this day born of
friends, this ocean covering
everything, all roads opening,
a person changing to kindness…” Coleman Barks “Auction”
***
Thank you for taking the time to read this month’s blog offering. May you endure whatever uncertainties await in the coming days and months with grace, bravery, and compassion. May you continue to practice, in whatever ways speak to you.
May you continue to Believe…and Receive…
Poems cited in this article came from The Soul of Rumi: A New Collection of Ecstatic Poems by Coleman Barks
Interruptions: Obstacles or Messages? January 30, 2026 22:40
Recently, I dreamt that I was in a dimly lit room—it reminded me of the St. Simon’s Church basement where my family attended services when I was a kid. Metal folding chairs were arranged in a half circle on a thin orange carpet that smelled of stale coffee. Stacks of cardboard boxes lined up along the far wall of the room, and fluorescent lights flickered overhead in what resembled upside down ice cube trays.
Strangers milled about the room, and someone approached me and told me that it was my turn to lead the meditation class. I reached for a small plastic bucket, one that a child might play with at the beach, and a short PVC pipe that was resting on a shelf. Because there wasn’t a singing bowl in the basement, this would have to do.
The strangers kept milling about, chatting in hushed tones. They came and went in steady waves. I wasn’t able to hold their attention or interest—when I struck the PVC pipe against the bucket, it made flat, dull thuds, and I was not able to lead the meditation class.
***
I woke up feeling scattered and defeated. Dream images often reflect the state of our minds, and my mind was telling me that I was feeling scattered and disorganized—and that I didn’t have what I really needed in order to do what I was asked to accomplish.
I’ve been clearing out physical clutter in my home and office lately, but this dream was nudging me to clear out the mental and emotional clutter, too.
It was time to “go through the boxes,” to sort out the treasure from the trash, to create a space that welcomed visitors, not one that included chasing people around a dank smelling basement and beating on a plastic bucket hoping to gain their attention.
My dream was inviting me to take a seat, to find my own peace, to settle myself in order to invite others to practice.
***
Initially, everything in this dream appeared to be an obstacle to practice, an interruption of one sort or another. Interruptions are unavoidable. Even when I’m awake and reading through a sadhana practice, stray thoughts and images sneak between the lines printed on the page:
· This sweater is itchy.
· I could use a cup of tea.
· Maya is snoring loudly on the couch.
· Don’t forget to call Senators Young and Banks.
· Remember that time when Little Stevie got stuck on the top of the playground slide?
· Did you remember to pay the doctor bill?
· I haven’t seen that gray tabby cat in a while. I hope he’s OK.
These thoughts, memories, and worries come and go. If I don’t attach, they don’t usually persist. Instead, they float by like fish in a stream.
***
Dream images can be interpreted as interruptions, too. However, what at first glance appears to be interruptions, can actually be messages. They are symbolic reflections of what is happening in the outer world.
My outer world has been chaotic, messy, and uncertain lately. I have been grappling with feelings of grief, anger, and fear regarding the invasion of federal agents, the subsequent protests, and fatal shootings of U.S. citizens in Minneapolis.
My friend and Tibetan language tutor, Ngawang, lives in the Minneapolis area with her family. I have been very concerned about their safety.
I was horrified and appalled by the aggressive and violent tactics of masked federal agents storm trooping into the city of Minneapolis to harass, intimidate, kidnap, and terrorize residents. The murders of two U.S. citizens, Renee Good and Alex Pretti, were unwarranted, preventable, and tragic.
***
My personal practice is an anchor for me; it keeps me steady and calm in the midst of chaos. However, sometimes personal practice isn’t enough.
A few weeks ago, I happened to hear an interview on the NPR program, Kelly Corrigan Wonders. Corrigan was interviewing Canadian writer, Kate Bowler, who is a professor and award-winning podcast host. Bowler said something in the interview that resonated with me: “Action absorbs anxiety.”
Yes—taking time each day to sit on my cushion and meditate IS a meaningful action, and an important part of maintaining my mental and spiritual wellbeing.
However, it doesn’t directly impact the community.
I don’t live in Minneapolis, but people I care about live there, and I support Minnesotans who have braved subzero temperatures to stand up for their neighbors.
I stand in solidarity with those who demand an end to the violence perpetuated by ICE and this current administration. I support those who bravely fight and advocate for the safety, dignity, and wellbeing of our immigrant communities.
I have called, and will continue to call, state legislators and members of Congress about this current situation and other situations that violate our constitutional rights and threaten the wellbeing of those who live in this country.
I take time every day to read or listen to credible, fact-based news sources. Being informed is essential to being a responsible citizen.
I am mindful about supporting local small businesses and companies that reflect my values and that do not contribute to the deception, corruption, and cruelty of this current administration.
We check in with our neighbors.
Even small actions, like leaving a few granola bars on my desk at school for students who may need an afternoon snack to get through the day, can make a positive difference.
These actions absorb anxiety, and they benefit others.
***
Kate Bowler is right—every time I pick up the phone and voice my concerns to senators, I feel a little better, and I feel empowered.
One of my favorite sources of information is Heather Cox Richardson. Her daily letters and her interviews with experts and lawmakers have been a beacon of hope for me (and many others—she has quite a following).
Last year, shortly after the election and inauguration, when the chaos and flood of confusion began, she wrote, “Don’t shut up. Don’t despair.”
I have been repeating that phrase like a mantra ever since—I’ve shared it in comments with friends, and I even had a tee shirt made with this phrase to remind myself and others of the importance of standing up, speaking out, and taking care of others.
***
What actions can you take to benefit others today? How can you be a source of help and support?
If anything, these are the essential questions that this dream is asking of me. The more I do to benefit others, the more peace and clarity I will experience. The more we work together, the more meaningful our progress will be.
I’m choosing to interpret these recent dream images as messages of encouragement, rather than anxious interruptions, and they are nudging me to continue to take meaningful action.
***
What can you do in your little corner of the world that can tend, comfort, and support others? How can we stand together to bring about positive change?
***
Thanks for taking the time to read this month’s offering.
May you be happy.
May you be well.
May you live with ease.
May you be a beacon of hope and encouragement for others.
Honoring the Winter Season: The Benefits of Productive Procrastination December 31, 2025 14:39
I woke up on Christmas Eve morning with song lyrics rolling around in my head. This is not unusual for me. I typically wake up with a melody. Sometimes they are commercial jingles from the ‘70s; sometimes, they are instrumental tunes—pop, jazz, R&B, classical…what these melodies often carry for me, besides a tune, is a message. If I can’t shake the song after an hour or so, I know it’s time to look up the lyrics and have a listen.
On this morning, the song was “Unwritten,” by Natasha Bedingfield:
“Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find.”
The message was clear…WRITE!!!
***
Most writers have rituals…patterns or habits that encourage the writing process. My prewriting ritual involves a bit of productive procrastination. On Christmas Eve morning, I spent some time sitting on the floor of my closet sorting through and folding up an assortment of tee shirts, camis, and tank tops that take up quite a bit of space when they aren’t neatly folded and put away. The shelves were overflowing with wadded up, wrinkled tees, and the small metal organizer was stuffed with tanks and camis. If I removed one, five more would follow and fall to the floor in a heap.
Taking the time to sort, organize, fold, and cull what I no longer needed helped me to clear my head and arrange my thoughts. Clearing the physical clutter helped me to clear the mental clutter.
After taking a shower, eating breakfast, listening to an online Dharma practice, and cleaning the bathroom sink and mirror—I was finally ready to write!
***
The days leading up to the winter holiday break are challenging for me. I don’t mind the season of winter—the cold, bare branches, and snow. Winter is a time of quiet reflection—it’s a time to slow down and hunker down.
Being bombarded with bright lights, peppy Christmas tunes, and the pressure to consume and buy stuff—all of these things are jarring and unsettling for me, and they are counterintuitive to the winter season.
The older I get, the more the holiday season seems like an obligation to me. It feels like an unpleasant chore. Honestly, I’d rather scrub the baseboards and clean the cat pan than decorate the tree or bake Christmas cookies.
At school, I ignored this year’s emails announcing the staff holiday party and gift exchange. I made a brief appearance at the annual holiday luncheon—then slipped back to my office to check-in with students who were preparing for final exams.
I’m torn between the pressure to fit in—to join in and succumb to the pressure to be “merry and bright” or to listen to my own intuitive guidance to do less, to slow down, to reflect, to meditate, to breathe and be.
***
The winter season is about gathering strength through rest, stillness, and silence. Winter doesn’t rush, and I don’t want to, either. I think about the woodchuck that lives underneath our barn, curling up into the earth, preparing for spring by resting in winter.
My husband and I enjoyed a quiet Christmas at home with our daughter and son-in-law. We had a nice dinner and exchanged a few thoughtful gifts. It wasn’t too loud, crowded, or over-the-top, but with enough tradition sprinkled in to feel like a holiday (a decorated tree, stockings, presents wrapped with care).
***
The day after Christmas the weather was uncharacteristically warm, so Jim and I spent several hours Swedish death cleaning the attic. By the light of a single bare bulb, we sorted through boxes filled with pictures, old holiday ornaments, toys, vinyl albums, and stacks of outdated magazines. I looked through binders stuffed with years of lesson plans and overhead transparencies. I sorted through laminated posters that I had hung in my classrooms.
We lowered box after box down into the garage and divided the piles slated for donations, trash, and recycling.
I washed and dried a box full of glass jars, canisters, candle holders, and knickknacks before loading them into my car, along with a couple of lamps, decorative items, and a mesh bag filled with yoga blocks and headed to the nearest Goodwill.
We loaded Jim’s truck with the trash and recycling.
By the end of the day, our clothes were dusty, we were sweaty and tired, and I even found a few desiccated stink bugs in my hair, but it felt good to clear out what we no longer needed—to sweep away the dust and debris, to clean out the clutter and make more room to breathe.
I’m glad we made the most of our warm weather opportunity. A storm front and arctic blast moved across our state the following day, bringing temperatures down into the teens.
***
Today is the last day of December, and I am enjoying that part of my winter break where I don’t know what day it is—or what time it is. I enjoy the long stretch of unstructured and unscheduled time before the New Year begins. Time falls away, and I have the space to read, think, listen to music, create malas, take naps, and practice.
The pressure cooker lead up to the holidays has fizzled out, and I am enjoying the quiet before the frenzy of the upcoming semester.
Having time to rest and recharge is essential, and I find that I really enjoy my meditation practice much more when I’m not as stressed or overscheduled.
***
I have enjoyed creating new mala designs for the website during the break, too. One of the designs, Jazz Inspired Mala, was the result of productive procrastination…and music.
One of my friends is a jazz musician, and he gave me his most recent CD, which is a collaboration that he and two other musicians recorded. I had originally planned to listen to it while sweeping and mopping the living room floor. We had put away the tree and Christmas decorations, and glitter was everywhere!
Instead, I listened while sitting on the floor, surrounded by boxes of beads and my work tray, and created a layout design for the website.
It was an engaging and peaceful way to start the morning. I enjoyed listening to my friend’s music, and this mala-in-progress was a playful response to the jazzy rhythms and improvisational call.
I’ve recently added this mala to the website, along with a few additional designs. Be sure to have a look while you’re here.
***
I hope you find joy and peace this winter season, and I hope you savor many moments of creativity, belonging, love, and meaningful connection.
May you be happy and well, may you balance work and rest with ease and grace, and may your own personal practice inspire, support, and sustain you throughout 2026.
Take care of yourself…and those around you—see you next year!
Encouragement as an Antidote to Chaos: Thanksgiving and Thanksreceiving November 30, 2025 13:50
I was driving to school a few days before Thanksgiving. It was early in the morning, it was dark, and the streets were wet from rain. The traffic lights in the distance turned green, and those green lights reflected on the wet road and stretched out along the street toward my car in long, narrow, blurry points, encouraging me along the way.
Encouragement is a practice, and it can be an antidote to chaos and uncertainty.
My husband and I went to the grocery store last Saturday afternoon—the Saturday before Thanksgiving. As we pulled into the crowded parking lot, we slowed down and stopped at the sign in front of the store. A woman pushing a cart loaded with groceries crossed in front of us. To us, it was a commonsense gesture—to stop for her…at a stop sign—to let her cross; obviously, it meant more to her, though. She smiled, waved, and blew kisses at us as she crossed and pushed her cart toward her car. We weren’t doing anything exceptional; however, sometimes it feels good to be enthusiastically, and sincerely acknowledged for doing what you’re supposed to do.
***
The following Saturday (post-Thanksgiving), Jim and I went to the same grocery store several hours earlier than usual in order to beat a forecasted winter storm. Traffic was very light at 7:00AM. We had no trouble finding a parking spot, and the few shoppers in the store were outnumbered by workers stocking shelves.
The produce section was already fully stocked, which was a pleasant surprise, and we didn’t have to wait in a long checkout line.
I asked our cashier, Bri, if she had a good Thanksgiving.
“I was here,” she said, “and…I was here yesterday,” which was Black Friday.
Bri looked fatigued and discouraged as she scanned our groceries.
“I hope you had had kind and patient customers,” I offered, while bagging our groceries and placing them in our cart.
She shrugged her shoulders and added, “It was pretty crazy yesterday.”
Another cashier stopped by her register and announced that they were going to be understaffed…again. Bri was concerned that her manager would forget about her break as a result.
As Bri handed us our receipt, I said, “We won’t forget you, Bri, and we appreciate your dedication and hard work.”
Bri’s face lit up when she heard me say her name. She smiled and encouraged us to “stay warm.”
Empathy and kind words may not be enough to alleviate fatigue and frustration, but for a moment, at least, I hope that Bri felt seen and appreciated.
Sometimes, a kind word from a stranger at 7:30 in the morning on a snowy Saturday after the biggest shopping day of the year can help make the day flow a little more smoothly. I certainly hope that was the case for Bri.
***
The Saturday after Thanksgiving is Small Business Saturday, and later that day I purchased a beautiful, hand-knitted blanket from a friend’s wife who is exceptionally creative, and who is also on the verge of starting her own small business.
This blanket is circular with small, knitted roses at the edges so that when it’s folded and rolled, it resembles a bouquet of red roses. It will make a lovely gift for a special friend this Holiday Season, and it felt good to support another friend on her entrepreneurial journey.
Encouragement doesn’t only benefit those who receive it; it also benefits those who give it.
***
Earlier this month, I met with one of my regular tutoring students, David. David has been struggling in his English class for much of this semester—not because he found the work of writing essays intellectually challenging, but because of procrastination. Delay, delay, delay is David’s downfall.
David would come to my office each week and stand in front of my desk. I have several chairs in my office, and most of the students I work with choose to sit in them during our meetings. David, however, prefers to stand.
He was guarded, stoic, and standoffish during many of our sessions. He was often eager to leave and rarely offered details and information without being prompted.
As the semester progressed, I’d ask him about the topics that he chose for his essays. I learned that he had an interest and an in-depth knowledge about Afro-Cuban music. He also was curious about civil rights leaders. I responded with interest and encouragement, and he continued to write and turn in his assignments.
At this point, we have a few weeks remaining in the semester, and David is very close to earning a B in his English class. The last time he came to my office, he stood in front of my desk, as usual. However, at the end of our brief meeting, he walked around my desk and gave me a hug and said, “Thank you.”
Keep in mind, I work part-time at a high school, and I often feel invisible in this role. I’m lucky if students make eye contact with me in the hallway, or smile, or even say, “Hello.”
High school kids aren’t big on hugging, so this was significant.
Encouragement inspired David to work to his potential, and his sincere gesture of appreciation encouraged me to realize that what I do does matter. It was a win-win.
***
Encouragement is an antidote. It uplifts, acknowledges, comforts, inspires, and reassures. It also propels us forward and fosters meaningful connections with others, especially during times when we are feeling vulnerable, uncertain, or afraid in a crazy, chaotic world.
Encouragement is a meaningful practice, and I encourage you to incorporate it in your own life in whatever ways resonate with you.
***
Thank you for taking the time to read this month’s offering. I hope you enjoyed the Thanksgiving holiday with your loved ones.
Please check out the current Middle Moon Malas collection. These hand-knotted, one-of-a-kind designs make thoughtful gifts for meditators and wellness enthusiasts. Know that I also offer restringing services and create custom designs upon request. Simply send me a message via the Contact Us page.
I am grateful for all of you, and I hope the month of December treats you well.
In the meantime, keep practicing.
Chaos and Glimmers: Balancing Meaningful Action and Meaningful Rest October 31, 2025 14:19
This past month has been a whirlwind of activity for me. I feel as though I have been spinning in a vortex of chaos and uncertainty. Managing these hectic moments with much-needed self-care and rest has been essential this month.
Some of the changes and challenges have been completely out of my control. For example, Hurricane Melissa recently slammed into Jamaica, Cuba, and Haiti. Last I heard, it was heading toward the Bahamas, leaving a wide path of destruction in its wake.
My heart goes out to everyone who has endured and survived such profound loss and devastation that this storm has brought. This compassion extends to all who will experience loss from future storms as well.
Man-made storms, particularly those of a political nature, have caused chaos and mayhem, too. In the U.S., we are currently in the throes of a 30+ day government shut down. Federal workers have been furloughed, some working, but without pay. Congress has reached an impasse and is unwilling to negotiate to find a solution to benefit the American people. Millions across the nation, primarily children, the elderly, the disabled, and veterans, are slated to lose much-needed SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) benefits, which will lead to a nationwide hunger crisis.
Rising health care costs, insurance rates, and grocery prices only complicate and exacerbate this crisis, and our current administration is to blame.
I can’t fix these problems by myself, but I can (and do) call my state and federal legislators to voice my concerns regularly. I can donate food to local food pantries. Staying informed about local and national events and happenings is important—being an engaged and informed citizen matters.
I was one of the seven million protesters who participated in the No Kings protest on October 18th. I may not be able to control the chaos, but I can respond to it in a mindful and intelligent way. I can be mindful and aware of what’s happening around me, and I can voice my concerns and push back peacefully when others are harmed or treated unjustly.
On a much smaller scale, personal storms have also compounded my sense of frustration this month. My schedule has been hectic and dotted with a series of unexpected surprises (four vet visits for two aging fur babes, my own medical checkups, technology snafus, etc.).
***
Needless to say, October has been a very busy and chaotic month, but there have also been bright spots. These glimmers have kept me calm and relaxed while navigating the chaos.
For example, earlier this month I attended a premiere viewing of the film The Wisdom of Happiness at a movie theatre in Indianapolis. This intimate documentary featured His Holiness the Dalai Lama addressing the audience in a very personal way about the importance of compassion, hope, and kindness. He shared practical wisdom and insights for finding peace and hope during uncertain times. It felt as though he was with us in the theatre, delivering a beautiful and practical Dharma talk—and a much-needed message relevant to all of us.
I recognized several people in the theatre; many had traveled from Bloomington to see this limited, one-day release. It felt uplifting to be in the company of so many others who also valued kindness and compassion.
***
Last week, Jim and I attended the wedding of a family friend. The ceremony took place on a veranda overlooking rolling green hills and a waterfall. As the late October sunset turned the sky pink, a flock of geese flew by in the distance as the couple recited their vows. After the ceremony, we lined both sides of a paved driveway to greet and receive the newlyweds and their wedding party with a flurry of bubbles.
These small, pleasant moments, or glimmers, have really helped me find balance and connect with others in a meaningful way.
***
I’ve been on Fall Break from school this past week. My schedule has been very full with other obligations, but I took time on Monday morning to make a vegetable soup in the slow cooker. While I sliced leeks, carrots, celery, and potatoes, I listened to an album playing on the living room stereo that I haven’t heard in many years (21 Strings by Al-Andalus Ensemble). “Song of the Water” is one of my favorite pieces from this album, and it brought me joy to hear it again. It also brought me joy to be fully present in the kitchen--taking time and effort to make a delicious soup that Jim and I would enjoy later.
***
During Fall Break, I had an annual checkup with my eye doctor. The waiting area was crowded. A woman about my age was sitting next to me. I admired the wide green frames of her glasses. Her elderly mother sat next to her. She was doting and patient with her mother as she helped her fill out her paperwork on a clipboard. After a while, a nurse came out to call for them. This woman helped her mother stand up, and then she stood in front of her mother so that she could place her hands on her daughter’s shoulders. They shuffled slowly… and they shuffled together… the daughter leading her mother down the hallway. It was a small gesture—but a tender, meaningful moment for me. I appreciated the daughter’s kindness and patience, and the mother’s trust and willingness to receive her daughter’s assistance.
***
Yesterday, I made time to practice a Feldenkrais lesson. I pushed all of my have-tos to the side and spent forty minutes to lie on the floor and listen to a lesson from Tiffany Sankary’s Movement and Creativity Library. It’s amazing how small movements like tilting the knees gently from side to side can foster awareness, relieve anxiety, and calm the nervous system.
I felt more relaxed and grounded by the end of the session. Feldenkrais lessons are like meditation for the body for me. The more subtle the movements, the deeper the awareness and feeling.
***
Finally, one of the most enjoyable glimmers for me this month has been watching the leaves turn colors. The maples and oaks in our front yard are ablaze with orange and yellow leaves, and I have enjoyed watching them flutter to the ground this month.
These glimmers—these moments of presence and joy—have been welcome antidotes to the chaos and uncertainty.
I hope that you, too, have been able to find solace and joy in your corner of the world.
***
Thanks for taking the time to read this month’s offering. If you happen to be in the Indianapolis area, know that I will be one of many vendors at the 10th annual Holistic Hub Wellbeing Fest on Sunday, November 9th. Hub&Spoke in Fishers will host this event. I will bring the full collection of malas as well as quarter malas, which are only available at in-person events. Feel free to stop by my booth to say, “Hello.” Perhaps, you’ll find a design that resonates with you and your practice.
If you won’t be able to attend this event, please visit the Middle Moon Malas online shop.
I hope the upcoming month of November treats you well—and may you be nourished by your practice as well as an abundance of everyday glimmers.
Photo Credit: Lucas K courtesy of Unsplash
Empathy: A Prelude to Compassion, Confidence, and Happiness September 30, 2025 19:23
On my way to Bloomington this past Sunday, I stopped at a local gas station. As I walked in, the owner greeted me with a sincere smile. He was wearing plastic gloves and was carefully placing slices of pepperoni on a pizza. He removed his gloves before ringing me up and taking my cash, and then said, “Have a good day.”
When I went outside to pump gas in my car, I noticed droplets of liquid dripping from the hose. At first, I thought it might be residual rain water or condensation from morning dew, but I also noticed fumes emanating from the liquid, dancing like transparent squiggles.
My heart started racing when I realized that this pump was leaking gasoline, and these droplets were beginning to accumulate on the pavement.
I had flashbacks of action flicks where cars blew up and people ran screaming to escape catastrophic flames. Thankfully, my car didn’t explode, and I was able to fill my tank safely.
I could have just hopped in my car and sped off without saying anything. I WAS concerned about my own safety, and I didn’t want to die. However, I knew that I would not be the only one fueling up at that pump today. What started as a small leak could worsen and cause serious harm to others.
I took the time to walk back inside and tell the owner that Pump #1 was leaking gas. He thanked me and reassured me that he would take care of it right away.
Empathy quickly progressed to compassion.
Empathy is an internal emotional response, and it’s one that helps to build connections and to understand others.
Empathy requires awareness, focus, and bravery. It is a foundational building block that supports compassion.
***
In recent years, several conservative podcasters, pundits, and political leaders have expressed sharp criticism for empathy, claiming that empathy is toxic, negative, and unnecessary.
In a March 2025 interview on the Joe Rogan podcast, Elon Musk proclaimed, “The fundamental weakness of Western civilization is empathy.”
I couldn’t disagree more with this statement. In fact, the lack of empathy is a major red flag. It can be a symptom of a serious disorder. For example, narcissists lack empathy, as do sociopaths and psychopaths.
***
While empathy is an internal response, allowing individuals to “feel with” another and acknowledge another’s suffering, compassion is an external response, a call to action in order to alleviate the suffering of another.
Compassion requires empathy. Compassion is a strong desire to reach out to others—to act in service to others. Compassion is empowering, and it fosters peace. It’s also essential for communities and civilizations to thrive.
During the Dharma talk in Bloomington on Sunday, Ven. Minyak Rinpoche mentioned, “The real enemy lies within—and the real enemy is our destructive, negative emotions.” By training the mind and taming these negative emotions, we have a greater capacity for empathy and compassion.
Compassion is a transformer, of sorts—it allows us to reshape our negative emotional states into positive ones. It is an antidote, and it can be our superpower.
Compassion and kindness are strengths, not weaknesses, and they are universal practices that we can all access if we choose.
Compassion is empathy in action, but it does not have to be dramatic or epic to be effective. Often, small acts of compassion can make a tremendous difference in our lives.
***
My friend Kim recently acquired a new dog. Max is a ten-year-old mutt who was abandoned by a family who recently moved away. When she found him, he was severely dehydrated. He was dirty with leaves and burrs caught in his fur. She had no idea how long he had been wandering the streets. She took him to a nearby vet and made attempts to track down his original owner. When no one claimed him, she did, and Max is currently living a very happy, safe, and comfortable life with my friend and her family.
***
Compassion is often a win-win, where all parties benefit, flourish, and grow.
At the heart of compassion and empathy is the desire to be of benefit to others—to help others rather than focusing on our own selfish interests.
I agree wholeheartedly with Ira Byock, physician, author, and advocate of palliative care: “We are at our best when we serve others. Be civilized.”
His Holiness the Dalai Lama often teaches about the benefits of compassion: “Compassion gives us inner strength. It gives us confidence, and that reduces fear, which, in turn, keeps our minds calm. Therefore, compassion has two purposes: it causes our brain to function better, and it brings inner strength. These, then, are the causes of happiness.”
Cultivating empathy leads to compassion, and compassion helps us to manage our emotions and generate happiness. What could be more essential to civilization than that?
***
Thank you for reading this month’s blog offering. I hope the month of September has treated you well. Earlier this month, I had a pleasant opportunity to participate as a vendor at an in-person event and sold several malas and quarter malas. As a result, I have added several new mala designs to the online collection. Please take a few moments to view the current collection.
I also create custom designs (quarter malas and full malas) and offer restringing services. Please reach out via the Contact Us page for requests and inquiries.
Can't Get This Picture Out of My Head: Missed Opportunities and Treasures of the Mind August 31, 2025 19:52
I sat outside this afternoon to practice. It was a beautiful August day—blue sky, unseasonably cool temperatures. The chattering squirrels and spiraling songs of rowdy cicadas cheered me on from nearby hickory, maple, and walnut trees.
In between segments of the sadhana, I thought about an image that struck me earlier in the morning. I was pumping gas at a nearby station, and I was running late for an appointment. Zora was in her cat carrier in the front seat, and we were headed to the vet for her annual check-up.
I was impatient, and I was anxious about running behind. I heard the sounds of Canada geese honking nearby. When I looked up, I saw a flock flying in a perfect “V” formation, their wings slicing into the bluish pink morning sky. They soared right over us.
If I’d had my phone on me, I would have snapped a pic or recorded a short video. I didn’t; it was in the front seat with Zora. Instead, I paused, took a few deep breaths and enjoyed the moment.
Soon, we were on our way, and I appreciated that this flock of feathered friends reminded me of the importance of being present.
***
I enjoy taking pictures. I’m not a professional photographer, by any stretch, but when I see images that stop me in my tracks, I like to capture them on film, if possible. Sometimes, it’s not possible, and these moments are often more compelling than the ones I do capture because these are the images that stay with me the longest. I can’t share them with others in the way that I would like, but they are stashed away in my memory, and occasionally they resurface at unexpected times.
***
Several decades ago, before my daughter was born, Jim and I went to a summer intertribal pow wow in Lebanon, Indiana.
We arrived early, before the grand entry of dancers, and wandered the fairgrounds to check out the vendor booths. At one point, I happened to see a tall indigenous man standing by his pick-up truck in a nearby field. He was a fancy dancer preparing for the grand entry. His feather bustles and arm bands were resting on the tailgate of his pick-up. He was wearing a bright blue shirt, leggings, and a crown of porcupine hair, and he was applying face paint with the help of his truck’s side mirror.
The irony is, I had my camera with me, and I had an opportunity to capture a great photo. However, I was too shy to approach him and ask if it was OK for me to take his picture. This missed opportunity is so vivid in my mind, even thirty years later.
It’s a pleasant memory, not one laced with regret or disappointment. It’s like finding an old photograph, one that only I can see clearly—or a treasure that I can’t quite grasp or share with others.
***
When we were in India recently, I had two moments similar to this. Both of them happened so quickly that I didn’t have time to reach for my phone to snap a pic.
One happened in Dharamshala. We were in a taxi heading to the airport. The weather had been foggy and rainy, and we didn’t know if we could even catch a flight back to Delhi or not. But the skies cleared in the afternoon, and we hustled to the airport to catch our scheduled flight.
On the way, we were driving on a narrow dirt road in a small village. In the middle of the road was an elderly Indian man walking. He was holding a rope that was tethered to a large elephant who was walking down the road with him. Its head was light gray with dark brown spots like freckles. They both walked slowly, with purpose. The elephant’s ears flapped leisurely in the afternoon sun, and our taxi whizzed by them both before I could even think about reaching for my phone.
This image proved to be a good omen. We made it safely to the airport and were able to catch our flight back to Delhi.
***
About a week later, when we were at Sera Mey Monastery in Bylakuppe, we passed a group of a dozen or so young monks who were on their way to class. They were maybe twelve or thirteen-years-old, and all of them were dressed in maroon robes. It was early in the morning, and one of the monks caught my attention. He was trailing behind a bit, carrying his books in one hand and half of a dragon fruit in the other.
He looked sleepy, and he had a bright pink smear of dragon fruit juice on one of his cheeks as he was trying to eat, walk, and keep up with his dharma brothers.
The sleepy gaze, vibrant fuchsia fruit, the maroon robes, and the stain on the cheek—it would have made for a wonderful photo, but it happened so fast. I wouldn’t have had time to take the snap even if I had been waiting with my phone and ready to shoot.
***
All of these images belong in my memory, not in a photo album or Facebook post. They are all beautiful reminders of how fleeting and amazing this world is—and how important it is to appreciate the present moment. These moments weren’t meant to be captured and preserved. They weren’t meant to be aligned and cropped with added filters or enhanced colors. They were meant to be appreciated as they happened in real time without grasping, clinging, or attaching.
In some ways, these missed opportunities are more vivid and precious than the photos that I have been able to take, and I am grateful that they resurface from time to time for me to think about and enjoy again.
***
I hope that the month of August has treated you well, and I hope you enjoy the upcoming Labor Day Holiday.
I will be one of many vendors at the upcoming First Saturday Bazaar at The Playful Soul in Indianapolis on September 6th. If you’re in the Indy area, please stop by and say, “Hello," and perhaps take home a beautiful mala or quarter mala to support your practice.
If you’re not local, please take a look at the current Middle Moon Malas collection of hand-knotted malas. I also create custom designs as well. Don’t hesitate to send me an email via the Contact Us page for requests and inquiries.
Until next month, take care, keep practicing, and don’t forget to enjoy the present moment.
Navigating Uncertainty: Lessons Learned from India 2025 Trip July 27, 2025 18:40
Yesterday, I stopped by the school where I work. Our students return next week, and I ran into a friend of mine in the main office. Instead of the usual, "How was your trip?" Candice asked, "What did you learn from your trip to India?"
I really appreciated this question. It was thoughtful, and it elicited a specific and equally thoughtful response. The three main lessons that I learned from my recent trip to India included the necessity of preparation, the importance of non-attachment, and the appreciation of interdependence.
Preparation:
As a habitual planner, and, oftentimes, over-planner, I have struggled with navigating uncertainty. I attribute much of this to my 30+ years as a high school English teacher; however, even in the classroom, most of the time my lesson plans didn't go as expected. I had to revise, pivot, and adjust all the time--the plans were the scaffolding, not the end result.
In the months leading up to my recent trip to India, I was consumed with planning and preparing: booking airline tickets, reserving accommodations, making appointments with travel doctors, securing travel insurance, making lists of what to bring, etc. I even pre-packed a few times to see what would fit in my suitcase.
Granted, many of these steps are necessary for ensuring safe travels; these are the things adults do when preparing for a trip, especially one that lasts three weeks.
However, even with all the preparation and planning, it did not alleviate the worry and anxiety--the pre-travel jitters, so I made sitting with uncertainty a part of my practice. Sitting with uncertainty before and during this trip really helped me to remain present and grounded in the now--and it helped me to savor and enjoy this journey.
The last time we went to India was almost three years ago, and I traveled with a group of seven Dharma friends. We booked tickets though a travel agent, and I had absolutely no expectations since everything was new to me.
This time, however, I had a bit of a reference point. This time, I was traveling with my friend and Tibetan tutor, Ngawang, and her husband, Pema.
Several friends who had traveled with us before were traveling again this time, but they were either on their own or in smaller, separate groups.
(Ngawang, Pema, and I at the Delhi airport at the start of our adventure)
The purpose of this trip was different, too. This time, we were celebrating HHDL's 90th Birthday in Dharamshala and the completion of Takster Rinpoche's labrang (residence) in South India.
When we traveled before, it was in November, and the weather in Dharamshala was cool and sunny. However, in late June and July, which is the start of the monsoon season, it was rainy and foggy nearly every day we were there.
(Preparations for HHDL's 90th Birthday Celebration--thousands of marigolds to be strung and hung as garlands and decorations for the temple in Dharamshala)
We were very fortunate! Ngawang, Pema, and I were able to fly safely to and from Dharamshala without delays or cancellations. Neither of our flights was cancelled due to fog or mechanical issues. Unfortunately, this was not the case for some of our friends who were traveling separately. Some had to take night buses and long cab rides because of flight delays.
However, we had to be prepared for this possibility, too. We had arranged for back-up plans with drivers just in case. Thankfully, we didn't need to take any long detours.
(Image of cotton candy vendor in Dharamshala--it rained frequently while we were there--note the umbrella at the top of his stash--preparation is a beautiful thing)
Non-Attachment:
In addition to being as prepared as reasonably possible, I also found that one of the best ways to alleviate anxiety around uncertainty is to practice non-attachment. The more I could let go, be present, and avoid clinging to any expectations, the smoother things went for us.
I found this to be helpful with small things--like being relaxed and non-reactive when encountering monkeys, street dogs, and feral cats on the streets of Dharamshala. Being calm kept me grounded, alert, and mindful.
(monkey on a roof near the main temple in Dharamshala)
(curious feral cat)
(Street dog watching a group of monks leave the Loma Cafe in Dharamshala)
Being non-reactive, relaxed, and open was especially helpful with more significant events as well. We arrived in Dharamshala early enough to secure an audience with HHDL before the birthday celebrations were in full swing.
On June 28th, he met with individuals in two large groups: one group of Tibetans, and another group of international guests. Ngawang and Pema were with the Tibetan group, and I was slated to join the international group.
It was touch-and-go for a while for me, though. I wasn't sure if I would be part of this meeting at all. Even though I had sent my necessary information to Geshe Sanjey a few months beforehand, for some reason, my name was not on "the list." Geshe Sanjey was extremely helpful. After a few moments of slightly tense negotiations and persuasion, Geshe Sanjey managed to convince the man with the list to add my name to it, and I was escorted to my place in line with the 200+ international visitors who were waiting to meet HHDL.
(Geshe Sanjey and I after the meeting with HHDL)
Our meeting took place outdoors, and I was relieved that the weather cooperated. We had blue skies and sunshine on this day, which was unusual--every other day that we were in Dharamshala was foggy, rainy, and cloudy.
Each of us received a white khatag (silk scarf), and we were introduced to HHDL by name, location, and if we had a connection to a specific spiritual center.
I vaguely remember hearing my name mentioned, but I do vividly remember that HHDL's eyes lit up when he heard the man making the introductions say, "Bloomington, Indiana."
I'm glad I could be there on that day to represent our center in Bloomington. Our meeting was brief, but meaningful. He clasped my hands, brought his forehead to mine, and smiled.
(feeling grateful for this opportunity)
When I met HHDL the last time, I was very nervous. On this day, though, I was relaxed, present, and open to enjoying the experience. I wasn't attached, and I wasn't worried if I would be able to meet with him again or not. I was just grateful to be in Dharamshala with my friends, and if this meeting was supposed to happen, it would.
I am very grateful that things worked out. This truly was a meaningful and joyful moment.
Interdependence:
(Door Open: sign outside a restaurant at Bylakuppe)
Being prepared is great, as is being relaxed and open-minded; however, appreciating interdependence is also an essential ingredient for navigating any situation, especially new and unfamiliar ones.
(Preschool classroom near Norbulingka Institute)
We didn't just arrange this trip by ourselves. Many hearts and hands made this journey possible--and even more helped keep us moving along the spine of India--traveling from north to south and back again--nourishing us along the way with good food and lots of tea (milk tea, butter tea, masala chai, and honey lemon ginger tea).
(Image of fruit vendor taken from bus window, somewhere in South India)
Cab drivers, bus drivers, flight attendants, luggage handlers, TSA agents, farmers, cooks, artists, engineers, architects, monastics, householders, friends, and strangers--so many helped pave the way for us to travel here.
(Young monks seek shelter from the hot sun in Mundgod)
Brick by brick
bead by bead
mantra by mantra
every stone
every drop of rain
every outstretched hand
every dog barking in the middle of the night
every flickering butter lamp
(Butter lamp offerings outside Drepung Gomang Monastery)
This trip was not completely controlled, carefully executed, or micromanaged. We were all riding the waves of our own collective karma, and the more we appreciated, acknowledged, and gave generously to others, the more everyone benefited.
(Monks at 90th Birthday Celebration for HHDL--overflow area at Kirti Monastery)
This dance of self and other is an intricate tapestry of connection and interconnection.
Wisdom, humor, curiosity, and bliss...tender hearts led us here...open minds carried us safely home again.
(Shawl vendor in McCleod Ganj)
This trip to India was a joyful journey that reinforced the importance of appreciating and embracing interdependence
of cultivating friendships
of sustaining the endless golden sutra, or cord, of kindness, compassion, and wisdom through ever-changing impermanence.
(Poets on the path: a chance reunion with poet and Tibetan activist Tenzin Tsundue on the kora in Dharamshala)
The only way we can truly develop a generous heart and cultivate wisdom, patience, ethics, and joyful effort, is to depend on others.
(Young monks and a tuk-tuk)
I'm very grateful that I had another opportunity to visit India. Each day, I made time--usually very early in the morning--to practice. This personal commitment to daily practice has become an important part of my life--whether I am at home, or traveling far away from home.
I enjoy the practice, and I also enjoy creating hand-knotted malas for others to cultivate their own practices. If you haven't visited the current collection of one-of-a-kind malas, please do. My intention is that they may encourage, inspire, and support meaningful practice for others.
Thanks for taking the time to read this month's offering.
Take care. Be well.
Warmly,
Teresa
Connections and Community: Galas, Markets, and in-Person Events May 31, 2025 16:03
If you prefer to listen to this month's blog offering, please click HERE for the audio link.
Over the course of the past few weeks, I have had several opportunities to attend events and to meet with individuals in person. This has been a refreshing change, since I usually interact with customers and clients online.
In late April, the Student Government Association at Butler University hosted a fundraising gala, and they invited me to attend as a vendor. This was an intimate event held in Dugan Hall, which is a beautiful new building that houses the Lacy School of Business.
As an alumna, it is always a joy for me to return to the Butler campus, and this evening’s event was no exception. I enjoyed chatting with the students, faculty members, and the other vendors who attended this gala. It was a lovely event, and a few quarter malas found new homes as well.
Adelynn, the student who had invited me to the event, helped me carry a box to my car afterwards. She told me that her grandmother had also attended Butler and shared stories about Starlight Musicals, which used to be held at what is now Hinkle Fieldhouse. I told her that I saw Liberace there once with my family when I was in junior high school.
Adelynn also remembered her grandmother mentioning the C-Club, which was a cafeteria for commuter students. I remember studying there between classes, reviewing Beowulf and reading poetry by Richard Brautigan and Etheridge Knight. They served excellent soups and sandwiches there. Now, it’s more like a small convenient store and study area. I wondered if Adelynn’s grandmother and I attended classes at Butler around the same time.
I thanked her for inviting me to the gala and for helping me carry my things to my car. This was the second time I had attended an event like this at Butler, and I hope to attend other events there in the future.
***
In early May, I attended a Mother’s Day Market at Hub & Spoke in Fishers, Indiana. It was also an intimate event, but that’s OK with me. Actually, I prefer smaller events to those that are extremely crowded and noisy. It’s good to have time to interact with people. Some people have questions about what malas are and how to use them. It gives me an opportunity to explain the meaning of the beads, the knots, and the tassels and to demonstrate how to use malas in meditation practice.
It’s also helpful for people to be able to see these designs in person, especially the quarter malas. These “mini malas” are much more popular at in-person events compared to online sales. In fact, I don’t offer quarter malas on my website anymore, but I’m happy to create them as custom designs. For those who may be new to practicing with malas, these fun-sized designs are portable, affordable, and practical.
A dozen other vendors were with me at this market, also, and I enjoyed chatting with my vendor neighbors. The women across from my table sold beautiful personalized bouquets of fresh flowers and plants. On my left was a woman who worked at a local brick and mortar shop and offered hand-made soaps, teas, and essential oils.
The woman on my right was a scientist who worked full-time at a research lab, but she was helping out a friend by selling her jewelry on her behalf.
A full mala and a few quarter malas found new homes during this event, so this Mother’s Day Market was a success, as well.
***
I don’t attend very many in-person events like this. Typically, individuals will reach out for custom designs. May was certainly the month of quarter malas for me. Two weeks ago, one of my colleagues at school, Candice, asked me to create a quarter mala for her.
What’s nice about a local, in-person request like this is it allows me to bring bead samples directly to people. Usually, when I create a custom design for someone, I communicate via email and send them photos of bead options and possible layout designs.
In Candice’s case, I was able to bring in samples of Moonstone, Rose Quartz, Chrysocolla, Amazonite, Labradorite, and Amethyst beads for her to see and hold. That tactile connection is really important.
Once she decided on the beads she liked best, I was able to create two potential layout designs for her. I strung one set of beads on a variegated pink cord, and the second set on a bright teal cord.
She really liked both designs, and I was happy to create two quarter malas for her to support her personal practice.
***
A few days ago, I met with a woman named Paula who is in the process of organizing an outdoor summer festival next month. Because I will be traveling out of the country, I will not be able to attend this event; however, we met for coffee at a local coffee shop because she was interested in a full mala that I had posted on my website.
Paula explained on the phone prior to our meeting that a full mala was not in her budget at this time, but our conversation inspired me to create a quarter mala design for her that was similar to the full mala that she liked.
Consequently, I created the All You Need Is Love Quarter Mala and sent her a photo. She loved it, and we met at Mocha Nut Coffee Shop soon after that so that I could deliver her new quarter mala to her in person. We talked about our families, our travels, and our career paths over a London Fog and a Mocha Latte. We also chatted about upcoming retreats that she plans to offer, and I indicated an interest in being a vendor at these events as well.
***
It's so nice to be able to interact with people in person and to have the time to chat about our lives and what matters most to us. After all, interconnection and interdependence are important aspects of meditation.
I’m also glad that I had several opportunities this month to meet with people in person and to create malas and quarter malas that will support their personal practices.
I do have one more event coming up in June. Wellbeing Fest will occur at the Perry Township Event Center in Indianapolis from 11-4 on June 8th. If interested, please visit holistichubwellbeingfest.com for more information and details.
If you don’t live in the Indianapolis area, and you are interested in a custom mala or quarter mala design, please don’t hesitate to send me an email via our Contact Us page. I am happy to create a one-of-a-kind design to support and inspire your meditation practice as well.
I hope you enjoy this last day of May, and I hope that June treats you well.
Thank you for taking the time to read or listen to this month’s blog post.
Take care—and keep practicing!
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