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Encouragement as an Antidote to Chaos: Thanksgiving and Thanksreceiving November 30, 2025 13:50
I was driving to school a few days before Thanksgiving. It was early in the morning, it was dark, and the streets were wet from rain. The traffic lights in the distance turned green, and those green lights reflected on the wet road and stretched out along the street toward my car in long, narrow, blurry points, encouraging me along the way.
Encouragement is a practice, and it can be an antidote to chaos and uncertainty.
My husband and I went to the grocery store last Saturday afternoon—the Saturday before Thanksgiving. As we pulled into the crowded parking lot, we slowed down and stopped at the sign in front of the store. A woman pushing a cart loaded with groceries crossed in front of us. To us, it was a commonsense gesture—to stop for her…at a stop sign—to let her cross; obviously, it meant more to her, though. She smiled, waved, and blew kisses at us as she crossed and pushed her cart toward her car. We weren’t doing anything exceptional; however, sometimes it feels good to be enthusiastically, and sincerely acknowledged for doing what you’re supposed to do.
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The following Saturday (post-Thanksgiving), Jim and I went to the same grocery store several hours earlier than usual in order to beat a forecasted winter storm. Traffic was very light at 7:00AM. We had no trouble finding a parking spot, and the few shoppers in the store were outnumbered by workers stocking shelves.
The produce section was already fully stocked, which was a pleasant surprise, and we didn’t have to wait in a long checkout line.
I asked our cashier, Bri, if she had a good Thanksgiving.
“I was here,” she said, “and…I was here yesterday,” which was Black Friday.
Bri looked fatigued and discouraged as she scanned our groceries.
“I hope you had had kind and patient customers,” I offered, while bagging our groceries and placing them in our cart.
She shrugged her shoulders and added, “It was pretty crazy yesterday.”
Another cashier stopped by her register and announced that they were going to be understaffed…again. Bri was concerned that her manager would forget about her break as a result.
As Bri handed us our receipt, I said, “We won’t forget you, Bri, and we appreciate your dedication and hard work.”
Bri’s face lit up when she heard me say her name. She smiled and encouraged us to “stay warm.”
Empathy and kind words may not be enough to alleviate fatigue and frustration, but for a moment, at least, I hope that Bri felt seen and appreciated.
Sometimes, a kind word from a stranger at 7:30 in the morning on a snowy Saturday after the biggest shopping day of the year can help make the day flow a little more smoothly. I certainly hope that was the case for Bri.
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The Saturday after Thanksgiving is Small Business Saturday, and later that day I purchased a beautiful, hand-knitted blanket from a friend’s wife who is exceptionally creative, and who is also on the verge of starting her own small business.
This blanket is circular with small, knitted roses at the edges so that when it’s folded and rolled, it resembles a bouquet of red roses. It will make a lovely gift for a special friend this Holiday Season, and it felt good to support another friend on her entrepreneurial journey.
Encouragement doesn’t only benefit those who receive it; it also benefits those who give it.
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Earlier this month, I met with one of my regular tutoring students, David. David has been struggling in his English class for much of this semester—not because he found the work of writing essays intellectually challenging, but because of procrastination. Delay, delay, delay is David’s downfall.
David would come to my office each week and stand in front of my desk. I have several chairs in my office, and most of the students I work with choose to sit in them during our meetings. David, however, prefers to stand.
He was guarded, stoic, and standoffish during many of our sessions. He was often eager to leave and rarely offered details and information without being prompted.
As the semester progressed, I’d ask him about the topics that he chose for his essays. I learned that he had an interest and an in-depth knowledge about Afro-Cuban music. He also was curious about civil rights leaders. I responded with interest and encouragement, and he continued to write and turn in his assignments.
At this point, we have a few weeks remaining in the semester, and David is very close to earning a B in his English class. The last time he came to my office, he stood in front of my desk, as usual. However, at the end of our brief meeting, he walked around my desk and gave me a hug and said, “Thank you.”
Keep in mind, I work part-time at a high school, and I often feel invisible in this role. I’m lucky if students make eye contact with me in the hallway, or smile, or even say, “Hello.”
High school kids aren’t big on hugging, so this was significant.
Encouragement inspired David to work to his potential, and his sincere gesture of appreciation encouraged me to realize that what I do does matter. It was a win-win.
***
Encouragement is an antidote. It uplifts, acknowledges, comforts, inspires, and reassures. It also propels us forward and fosters meaningful connections with others, especially during times when we are feeling vulnerable, uncertain, or afraid in a crazy, chaotic world.
Encouragement is a meaningful practice, and I encourage you to incorporate it in your own life in whatever ways resonate with you.
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Thank you for taking the time to read this month’s offering. I hope you enjoyed the Thanksgiving holiday with your loved ones.
Please check out the current Middle Moon Malas collection. These hand-knotted, one-of-a-kind designs make thoughtful gifts for meditators and wellness enthusiasts. Know that I also offer restringing services and create custom designs upon request. Simply send me a message via the Contact Us page.
I am grateful for all of you, and I hope the month of December treats you well.
In the meantime, keep practicing.
Why Are You Chanting, Seriously? April 7, 2019 20:36
I spend an hour every day chanting mantra. I begin my day by practicing a short sadhana and use a quarter mala to mark the twenty-seven recitations in the morning. Then, later in the day, usually in the afternoon or early evening, I chant using a full mala (108 beads).
WHY? There are so many other things that I could do with this hour every day. I could watch something on Netflix or YouTube. I could sleep in for an extra hour, or take a nap in the afternoon. I could feed my brain with information and read a compelling article or blog. I could take a long walk. I could declutter and organize my kitchen cabinets or volunteer at an animal shelter or soup kitchen. Why would I choose to spend this time chanting Sanskrit mantra?
These are reasonable questions. For the last five years I have practiced japa on the daily, and given the choices listed above, I’d rather continue to invest the time practicing mantra recitations, and here’s why…
- “Mantra’s nature is to protect the mind from negativity.” Ven. Lozang Yӧnten
Unsupervised, I am prone to worry and restless anxiety. Driving, for example, can be a trigger for me. If traffic is heavy, or delayed by construction, if I’m concerned about being late, or if an unexpected warning light suddenly appears on my dash board, I can go from focused and alert to tense and frazzled in .02 seconds.
When these unexpected surprises occur, I find that reaching for the clicker counter that I keep in the closest cup holder and chanting while I’m on the road helps to keep me calm, relaxed, and focused, and it also prevents me from spinning out into a vortex of nervous loops of spazziness. Chanting keeps me grounded, present in the here and now, and prevents the infinite “what if” scenarios from taking over—it keeps me moving forward, even if I’m at a standstill in traffic.
- “By practicing mantra, we can drive our awareness deeper into the bones, muscles and tissues of the body to gain a greater sensitivity and understanding of our makeup and amplify the emotional energies latent within, much like the potential energy present in mountains that then becomes kinetic in the form of an avalanche when the earth quakes.” Gabriel Axel (“Your Brain on Om: The Science of Mantra, U.S. News and World Report , 2 Oct 2013)
In other words, a mantra practice can recalibrate the body and the mind, motivating us to reflect and improve. Managing transitions is not one of my strong suits. When I come home from work, for example, I’m energetically exhausted and disoriented. I’ve entered that awkward bardo state between busyness and rest, from structured time to unstructured time, and japa practice can act as a helpful buffer. When I sit on my cushion for formal practice, chanting mantra helps me navigate the change of environment and gives me permission to let go of the need to accomplish tasks. If I chant soon after coming home from school, I’m less likely to either go into Type A taskmaster mode (doing laundry, dishes, making dinner, or creating more items on the “to do” list) or self-soothing by taking refuge in junk food.
Sitting for thirty to forty minutes in the afternoon gives me an opportunity to process the events of the day, to relax, release, and ease into my evening. I feel more present and embodied.
However, if I wait too late in the evening to practice, I grow tired and impatient, and my mind is too fuzzy or groggy to benefit from the practice. Late afternoon to early evening is ideal for me—it creates a smooth transition from Do-Do-Do to Be-Be-Be.
- “By allowing the mind to be permeated with compassion, you become one who upholds the integrity and purity of the practice. This, itself, is the key to liberating all sentient beings.” H.E. Jetsün Khandro Rinpoche
This chanting practice is not just about me, and it doesn’t simply benefit myself. It can help others, too. The sadhana and mantra that I work with are part of a specific purification practice. Through it, I resolve to relinquish negative habits of mind and tendencies that harm myself and others. I acknowledge, regret, and affirm not to continue these thoughts, actions, or habits that have the potential to cause harm (i.e. judging others harshly, being snippy or snarky with people when I’m impatient, spending money on things I don’t need, laziness, arrogance, etc.). There’s a visualization component to this practice—and mantra recitation is at the heart of this practice as well. By actively and consciously acknowledging these habits and traits—and taking steps to cease, desist, and purify them, I am not only improving my own life, but making the world more tolerable for people who happen to be around me.
Outside of the purification practice, sometimes I will dedicate a round of mantra recitations to someone who is suffering (friend or stranger), or to a challenging situation or conflict (local or global). Chanting in this context becomes an offering and an act of compassion for others, and there’s never a shortage of subject matter since suffering and turmoil are ubiquitous. The mantra can be short and sweet—it doesn’t have to be complicated to be effective. Om Mani Padme Hum is just one example. What matters most is the intention behind the chanting practice, and the genuine focus and attention to the practice.
While watching Netflix or scrolling through Facebook may provide mindless entertainment and endless opportunities for distraction, mantra practice can actually improve focus, keep the monsters of attachment at bay, and help foster genuine compassion for others.