Using Malas and Mantras to Deal with Energy Bullies March 30, 2016 08:40

We've all had to deal with energy bullies at one time or another, and we have all been someone's energy bully as well. They can be family members, friends, colleagues, partners, and spouses.  Energy bullies have difficulty being accountable for their own behavior.  They are prone to blaming, complaining, judging, and playing mind games in order to protect their own egos or to manipulate others.

Being around an energy bully can deplete our own energy and erode our self-esteem.

There's good news, though.  Toxic people give us opportunities to transform ourselves and grow, and using malas and mantras can help foster this transformation.

Energy bullies are especially astute at honing in on other's vulnerabilities and blind spots. That's their hook--and if you let them--they latch on and drain you of positive energy and confidence.  So, how do you effectively deal with energy bullies?

1. Identify the Root Source

What is the Achilles' heel, trigger issue, or soft spot that they have targeted with you? It may be a behavior pattern, an issue that you are sensitive about, a belief, characteristic, or specific situation.  Identify why and how they push your buttons.

2. Pause

Once you take note of who pushes your buttons and which situations elicit strong reactions or energetically drain you....PAUSE.

Give yourself permission to allow feelings of anger, resentment, fear, exhaustion, and doubt to surface.  Sit with these feelings--invite them to tea for a few moments. Open your heart and make space for these feelings.  Then,

3. Healthy Detachment

Let them go! Strong reactions of anger and resentment only entrench us more deeply in the toxic relationship with an energy bully. Once you've identified the source and held space for the feelings surrounding it, detach from it emotionally (THIS IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE, and IT TAKES PRACTICE). 

Gently offering yourself compassion and acceptance during this process will allow you to empower yourself and bolster your strength and confidence.

4. Malas and Mantras:Tools of Empowerment

Using a mala and incorporating a mantra practice can be a very useful tool to disengage from an energy bully.  This practice can act as an antidote to the source issue.

Choose a mala and a mantra that will embody the qualities that you would like to cultivate.  

Need strength and protection? Call on Durga to help: Om Dum Durgayei Namaha

Need spiritual wisdom and maturity? Shiva can offer assistance: Om Nama Shivaya

If you're quick to anger and need peace, Kwan Yin can help: Namo Kwan Shi Yin Pusa

Need an all-purpose mantra for balance and equanimity? Om Hum So Hum 

There are thousands of mantras to choose from, and a Google search and listening to your own intuition can help you find one that's best for you.  Make time each day to chant, sing, whisper, or think this mantra while using your mala.  I recommend a 40-day sadhana, or practice, if possible. Keep note of your progress in a spiritual journal or log.  Before you know it, you'll reclaim your power and help prevent future energy bullies from sabotaging you.